Battered into submission?

I have been thinking a lot over the past few days and weeks about forgiveness,obviously in my present situation,i am being challenged by other people, and am being told 'that forgiveness means forgetting'.Pastor David Wilkerson did say that once you have forgiven ' it should never been mentioned again'.I don't want to be here to justify my reactions, and on Sunday i was just blowing off steam!.... I went on Harvest warriors, Dr Rebecca Browns website and she says forgiving someone does not mean you have to be around them again. i.e Forgiving and moving on.
In examining my motives i am sure that if the Ex-husband Howard, stayed away from me, i would give him not another thought,apart for the occasional bad thought that surfaced!!!,,and hopefully quickly repented of!...i know i have better things to do than constantly re-hashing the past, its gone i cant change it.
The past is being forced into my face, because of the 'accidently-on-purpose'presence of this man where ever i go,(an exaggeration, not really everywhere!)Could it be that God is trying to show me something? I went through the Prayers that Dr Rebecca had after her article.
What is important is that forgiveness is very important to God,(i.e the parable of the talents i think!...) how can he forgive us if we don't forgive others. Self examination over!...
It seems to me that Christian churches are no different to those written about in the book 'battered into submission'.To me the conclusion the book gets to is that women who are battered are encouraged to return to their husbands despite the risk of dying, UNTIL the Pastors own daughters are in this situation!!!..It seems their lives are more important...
The Biblical reasons only for Divorce are unfaithfulness, but remarriage is not allowed.
Its very sad,women have to leave their churches, lose their friends and support network, or stay,with the possibility of death or serious injury.Seems no better for christian women than the ones in the Middle East.
As the book says, 'sin is sin',the unbelieving world seems to have a more healthy attitude to this controvertial topic, than the so called 'People of God' the same people who protest about Abortion, and 'every life is precious'!!!..