It's been a very difficult 10days,it's Mother's Day today here in England,and a few hours ago in Church I felt like the worst sort of Mother, for various reasons,one being that two of my children don't want me as their Mother,but the worst thing is that I have been facing the darkest days of my 36years of being a Mother and Father to my children, the terror that my son is going to kill himself.
I was dreading the preacher talking about how wonderful Mothers are,I thought if he says that, I will burst into tears, or have to run out....but he didn't,the sound system was broken, so no overhead projection, or singing or music,just the strict Anglican communion service. Which restricting and formulaic as it is was strangely comforting.
