The dog died this morning, was not expecting it, had convinced myself that he just had a dose of the runs and would be o.k, too raw to talk about yet,so just to top off a REALLY awful start to the day, i took Darren to the open lunch at the church and the Ex Howard,was right there!...was expecting he would be, which in the natural,-the 'flesh' means not so much of a shock, so dont have extreme fear reaction, or that i am able to control myself in simple terms, it was awkward, but its done, and i have showed the Pastor at the church, and his wife i can be in the same place.Was struggling with thoughts that said' they dont want you here. they just like him' Obviously straight from the Pit of Hell,but still a struggle!!!!
Then got a REALLY friendly phone call from my friend Mike, (who the Lord told me not to get in the middle of this between me and The Ex,i am obviously back in favour, and not being judged as 'not forgiving', whoop de do...lucky lucky me!!!.)..I had told Him the situation of my treatment at the Ex's hands,he chose to shut me out in the cold,i really trusted him, and as always my mistake is to care too much for my friends only to be let down, hard....
Ah me,i have decided i really like my children as grown ups,as well as love them, have seen all of them over today.well to a better tomorrow...
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