wil o the wisps,gone for ever...

Today i am grateful to God for...some Wisdom He has given me,and the great Blessings my children are from Him,i know they are Gifts from God for me,and i have done the best i could for them, and now they are independent adults,with their own lives,i like them a lot.
I made mistakes,things i will always regret,but i am very happy with the people they have turned out to be, they all have a sense of fair play,i hope would never bully others,Joe said that they have all got those good things from me,and that they are the people they are because of me, which is nice to know.It is hard to take compliments,i don't now if its because i am female, and guilt seems to be par 'for the course',or its the abuse i suffered!
I now the battle of the mind we all go through is really a dialogue with the Enemy, the father of lies, who is always trying to bring us down,make us feel bad, about our failures and bad choices,the 'whispering campaign'....its no co-incidence that the Abusers voice SHOUTS our own insecurities back at us!!! we know where he gets it from!!!
So here i am, in this house,the abusers have come and gone,like fleeting wisps of evil,and they left me with still other people!,wonderful people! who have part of my soul,but  not the evil of the wisps,like ships that pass in the night,not the soul stealer's,the soul ties are cut....they hold no part of me....they are gone forever, they cant hurt me,the words they uttered, have just evaporated like they never existed..... I can see my life in this house,where i have been for 28 years,my life just passing by on a video,with me existing as i am now everyone else going at fast forward, leaving me with the ones who my heart sings for,and God gave them to me,a truly truly wonderful gift.

many are the afflictions

Today i am grateful to God for the many blessings He gives us,i was thinking of using my t.v control to be able to skip through the unpleasant adverts,( i hate all t.v averts)!!.. its a shame we cant skip through the unpleasant times in our lives the same way!...We have to endure the unpleasantness,it says somewhere in Gods word, the Bible, that 'many are the afflictions of the righteous'( although i don't feel particularly 'righteous') I suppose its saying that we should not expect to not have the unpleasant stuff,but  we never have to endure it alone, God is always with us!.I did my Testimony at the local christian motorcyclist meeting, and i said how the Lord had taken me through every instance of Abuse through my life and showed me He was there, I was not alone, like the  Father of lies wants to make us think.
There has been some controversy in the Press recently, saying how much o women contribute to Rape, Domestic Violence, some of the Opinions were from women .One side, the extreme feminists want to demonise all men, and never hold women accountable,just the reverse in fact of the attitude that men are just irresponsible boys who are incapable of controlling their Urges! So what is the truth, do women need to take responsibility for their own safety? Is it true that Women feel like a 'prey animal 'all the time,and men are the Predators?I read an Article by a very pretty woman who described her day travelling to and from work, men were trying various methods to engage with her, if she ignored them she was met with verbal aggression, even in public places,not all men,just the controlling ones with the big egos!!..

Life is good

Today i am grateful to God, for a really nice day yesterday,we took the two dogs to the Sunday market, and they did bark at other dogs, 9which was quite annoying 0but behaved well, then we took them for a long walk across some huge Playing fields which they loved,i had spoken the day before to a Breeder who was asking about them and why they were always barking and it inspired me to take them out and give them a Chance to behave, so i am glad they did, when they are away from me Gizmo did play with another bigger dog,only one small bark, but not aggressively! i was really pleased with them.
So the lesson i think God wanted me to learn from this, that even though things may have always happened a bad way in the Past doesn't mean change cant happen, if i am willing to 'step into' a new attitude, and give it a chance!
The Lord has me and Mike getting involved in the local Christian Motorcyclists Association,and Biker church, i have wanted to get involved with it for years,so i am really glad that i have a new direction, which the Lord has given me.
It was my birthday last week, and we all went out except for Joe and Daisy, and they clubbed together and got me a Kindle, i read the first book in 8 hours!, we went to the caravan for two nights and even though it rained almost all the time it was really great to be there, really relaxing...so life is really good for me at the moment.God is good, there is only one thing which worries me and that's Mike, he is sleeping again all day and is really quiet, Eddy in prison asked Mike to go and get something for a friends daughter, which he did not want to trust to the post, so Mike travelled 5and a half hours, to get it for Him, i did warn him that after Mike came back last time he slumped into a decline, Eddy said very selfishly ' hes always stay in bed' really showing a contempt for Mike. i don't want to be right, i just want Mike to be his old self again.
I went to a meeting to pray for Isreal at a town 12 miles or so away and at the last minute the scam artist came,i was friendy enough to her, but she looked 'daggers' at me,apparently she wants an apology from me, about what i dont know, for telling the truth? but not wanting Mike treated badly and bled dry? NEVER going to happen,i care about Mike too much.

I DEPEND ON HIM

Today i am Grateful to God, because' He never leaves me or forsakes Me'!!. I have been reading my Diary, because Helen and Brian who run the Local branch of the C.M.A,( christian motorcycle association), have asked me to give my testimony at the next meeting,i have always rather Arrogantly thought that although i went to Church then, i was not really born-again, as are a lot of people who attend Church here in England. The Church of England does not say we have to be born-again to be saved,but my diary tells a very different story, when i was 15 i was really committed to God, but 'boys' got in the way, and i did not fully commit my life back to Him until i was 35,i know now that He did not leave me,but when i was bringing up my five children on my own, without any help from anyone, i really did feel alone,The Bible says He will never Leave us or forsake us', and one very Painful night He took me through every Instance of Abuse i could remember and said 'you were that frightened child,and woman,who had to depend on a father who beat you,and a Husband who beat and Raped you,but YOU WERE NEVER ALONE,I WAS ALWAYS THERE.'.Thank you Jesus.

Bringing Captive every thought

Today I am grateful to God because He is Sovereign, over our Lives and Sovereign over the World, its been an interesting week, the Biker church was inspiring as usual, led by our 'Twig', the of shoot of a Branch!, maybe we will grow to branch one day! Its up to the Lord.
My Blind friend Andre came up for a few days too,it was such a blessing to see Him, and we have spent a long time talking since then, its good to be back in full fellowship with Him,some minor problems,(Scammer trying to mess with Andre's romantic feelings, "you can give me what my husband cant"), which the Enemy meant for bad God has turned around for good, in fact i am very grateful for the 'problems'! thank you Lord! Praise Him!
Its usual for the Enemy to have a 'go' at us after the blessings we have at Biker church,the first time Sandra and I were under attack for a whole week!...God is so good to us, Hallelujah.
I have been sharing with Andre some of the lessons God has taught me recently,about bringing Captive every thought, where we could be driven to Judge others,being Angry in itself is not Sin, but it can lead us into Sin.