Abusers from Aberfan..

I have been reading the book "why does he do that" again, trying to make sense of some abusive behaviour my kids are suffering from, as usual it does not make sense!! i suppose a normal person cant get in an abusers mind!.. although of course i have been called not normal by him, but curiously he says that about every woman he has ever had a relationship with!!..So he's waited a month thinking that my sons would slowly come round, and that they couldn't possibly do without him in their lives!!...,and of course this would have been the point for him to say sorry,and he would try not to do it again, but as with all abusers 'sorry' does not exist in their vocabulary, (real sorry, not just done to further manipulate), but abusers never believe they have done anything wrong, so no need to apologize!!..Sad Sad man,he so has to be 'right' that he will sacrifice his relationship with his sons and granddaughters..so the threats have started, 'i will get the police and social services on you', the usual behaviour, after telling Joe's friends he was going to kill himself, because BOTH his boys don't want him in their lives,when that didn't work, he tried the old lemon, the Aberfan Disaster, which has got him so much sympathy in the past,(he wasn't even born when it happened,his parents were the ones who lived through that terrible day), then the threats, doubly cruel for Daisy as she has always been frightened of the social services taking her baby away, as she grew up in care herself. The usual DESPICABLE tactics of the Abuser...

worried about friends..

I have been checking my posts for this time of year to see if there is a pattern of Mike being ill around now..yes there is even as far back as 2009, i suppose that is the good thing about keeping a blog for almost 6 years!! though i am very sure it it very boring for anyone else to read!!I was able to go to the Gospel Choir yesterday, with a bit of Bribery with Ben though!!It was a really nice time,there is a young guy who plays all kinds of instruments and he was playing after we all had a cup of tea, we also went to a wonderful praise meeting on Tuesday, so i have gone from being so bored at home i am falling asleep, to going out three days in a row!! My friend Helen is still having problems with her voice and is having lots of medical tests to find out what is going on! so we are all praying for her,a new lady came to the meeting on Monday, she is a new Christian, only saved two months ago, i had to give myself a good talking to because i had felt quite annoyed with her talking all the time,but Di was very good at not letting her take over, Next month she will be away, so it will be up to Roland and me to keep her in order!! will need Gods help, as she is an alcoholic (,she tricked Mike into taking her to buy a bottle of Wine,and then said "its my first drink of the day" while she stank of Gin!!he is upset that he was tricked into that,and cos she said he looked like Father Christmas) God is good! all the time!

Doctors and dogs

After trying to get Ben to the doctor for about four weeks now,he refused to go yesterday and i spoke to the doctor on the phone,i have been worried about his eating, he doesn't eat very much at all and with the Autism he is very picky already, he was having a lot of dental work done, (three teeth out and four fillings), and i just thought that was the reason why he didn't eat much, but his teeth have all been fixed now, and there is no improvement..so the Doctor has said he needs to see a Specialist, and is going to give him a physical examination next week too...
I want to write more but the dog is barking and it has gone from my mind!.(Nipper is a very old Yorkshire terrier who is blind in both eyes has front legs which are affected by a neurological condition, so he walk on his joints at the top of his leg because he has no muscles strength in the bottom part..his left back leg come out of joint so he only has one good leg, and is still up for a fight with any of the others!! the care i have to take of him is hard sometimes because the only way i can tell he needs something is when he barks so we have to go through the routine of food ,water, wee time, and even when i have tried all these he will just bark anyway!... he isn't in pain though because i give him painkillers every day from the vet!!

Sleepy,and Sundays!

If i was of a suspicious nature i would think that someone has put a 'curse' on me, because the last few days i have had trouble staying awake...even after having a full nights sleep!!, but of course i have forgotten to ask the Lord to turn back any curses which come our way, so if i believed it....Jon rang up on Sunday to talk to Ben , after i had told Colin, (Ben's Granddad that Ben didn't want to go there for the ritual Sunday visit,) Ben was angry with his Dad and told him so! which for someone who has communication problems was absolutley amazing!!..I was very proud of him, and i am proud of Joe too! i really thought that although Jon was violent to weaker women he really did love his Sons..he doesn't..he cant with the way he talks to them, but it has made me rethink the way that he and his family have behaved towards me over the years, i knew they talked badly about me behind my back, and i accepted it, unpleasant though it was, i didn't feel inclined to do anything about it and just thought it was important that they saw their family,of course being Manipulating and controlling they thought the had me in 'their pocket'!! which was true because they did get their own way! The weekly ritual of Sunday afternoons has been going on for 26 years, and i always knew that that would be the only time Jon would see them, and when they were younger i knew they were safe because Colin and Sheila were responsible people.But now as they are both grown up i don't have to be always so accommodating, always fitting in with their plans!! its quite freeing really!!!,(it is a shame that as Colin and Sheila are in their 80's, they wont be around for ever,and will have limited time to see their Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren,but i must keep reminding myself that i didn't do this!! it was Jon, its not my responsibility to keep them happy!!)

Witches and Patterns.

An old lady was peering into my house yesterday,she had long grey hair,wore long dress with full length coat, and would have fitted very well into a child's fairy tale as a Witch!!, i asked her in a friendly manner what she was doing,(Darren was going out of the front door and she was across the road taking photos of my house)...she told me that as a child she had been born and brought up in the house,she had been born in the 1940's,and we had a nice chat...just a friendly old lady..but the whole thing was unsettling,it was as though she had been reading from a script,and i found out that i had given her information about me..,she said she had grown up in the same bedroom i now sleep in etc..Sounds silly when i read this back because i cant put my finger on what was bothering me about it and i don't want to be like my friend Pat who saw the Enemy under every rock, and really thought she was such a threat to the Enemy!! that she was constantly aware of people as the enemy servants, maybe i could believe her if she was bringing thousands to the Lord, i think she would have been a threat to the Enemy's plans then!! but i guess we all have our little delusions, i am sure I do too!!
I have been thinking about an interesting pattern that i have seen in Abusers behaviour,i was thinking about when Howard lived here and it was his cousins wedding,and later his Mums 80th birthday party, and how he had created arguments so i didn't go.. Jon did the same!!, when his cousins in Wales were having a party,and another time his parents 30th wedding anniversary, i didn't go to either! (he didn't get away with it completely though because purely to wind him up, i lied and said i had worked out a route by train that would enable me to get there for the Party...he was not happy! and didn't go himself in the end!)
Obviously this was before i came back to the Lord,and yes lying is wrong, and it was really unlike me to wind anyone up, but it was fun.!!So its back to the age old question!! WHY DOES HE DO THAT!!... when i was younger i thought they didn't want me there so that they could be with other women, now,with what has happened to Joe and Daisy, i am beginning to think its because their extended family has been told what a terrible person me and Daisy were, and of course anyone who talked to us would see that we were perfectly normal people! and start to wonder about their family members!!

Tyres,Castles,and not asking for Protection...

I was finally able to come home on Wednesday, but was hoping to be back on Monday, had to get the tyre's done on the caravan and on the Car!!...Joe and Daisy fell out on Thursday night so we came home and i stayed home for two nights then went back on Saturday,so was at the caravan for four night in one go! Its a lovely place, Criccieth in west Wales, it has a medieval Castle, which is not unusual in this area,the house i live in is over a hundred years old! and that's quite young compared with some of the buildings where i live!The church i go to do the Gospel singing is Anglo Saxon, which i think is before Medieval(1500's) times...it must seem strange to people who live in newer countries where there are buildings not even as old as my house!!I have to get a better caravan,i was asked by the site owner to "upgrade", so its got me thinking of some different ideas, my ideal would be a small cottage with some land, but i may just have to have a caravan on a field, which i would like to buy, when i had the money from my mum, i didn't really want anything else apart from central heating and a Jeep, but of course now that there is not much money left,i have found something i DO WANT!! typical!!..i don't even know if the Councils in wales would allow me to just have a caravan on a field as i would need mains water, electricity, and drains...its just a pipe dream!! a fantasy!!I feel a bit funny putting it on here but i think the Enemy knows most of what goes on with us.... a few days when we were in the Caravan i forgot to Pray at night time for my children's protection, and of course the enemy didn't miss his chance!!, Daisy saw something in Ellie's room, and Ellie kept waking up when she was alone in her room,they said" as if something was waking her up". I know because of the whole Jon situation that a lot of curses will be coming our way, so that was a shocking lack of forgetful-ness on my part, but God is good ALL the time! Hallelujah! Praise Him

Not "handling" it anymore.

Well its been a tiring few weeks,Jon has made it impossible for Joe to be around him, and Jon has been so mean to Ben that i am not sure if he should be around him..In fact The whole Mulcahy family have been so manipulating, controlling and really just so vile that i really don't want anyone i care to be around them. A Poisonous bunch... Joe can fight back, but when Ben is called a little "S**t" by his own Father something has to be done, i wouldn't let Ben be around anyone else who calls him names like that. and i certainly won't just because its his Dad.I know now that he is not safe, they are not keeping him safe when he goes there,so he wont be.
Ben says "i can handle dad",but he shouldn't have to 'handle him!! or anyone!..The old motto 'sticks and stones will break my bones,but words will never hurt me' is totally completely wrong!! Words last much longer! sometimes it takes years for the words to stop...
I am on a very wet and windy Welsh hillside,almost next to the sea, the wind just rushes up the hill and hits the caravan, and the noise is just awful! its impossible to sleep, its 5.23 a.m, and i haven't slept for a few hours now because of the noise!!, it makes the dogs restless, and any movement in the caravan is noisy,just awful, its not like that in the house!! being in a tin box is the problem i guess!!