Tuesday 30 May 2017

New Grandchild

Finally got here to the coast! i was going to go last Wednesday, but was up all night with my 'single struggles', then i was going to go on Sunday, but i saw the long line of cars on the road to the coast on the way back from Church and changed my mind again! The big news i have been dying to tell is that Tashy is pregnant!! due in December 3rd, and i just saw on facebook that Joanna, Brian and Helen's daughter is due in the 12th December!
It is such great news, Tash has been struggling with infertility for 18 months! and we had a bit of a scare when she had to go to hospital and go on a drip because of morning sickness, just a few hours, she was dehydrated.
When we were at the Stafford show she had a bit of a scare, and i asked Di and Alec to pray, and then the risk stopped thanks to God!

Sunday 28 May 2017

Single Struggles.

I have been really struggling for five days now, someone made a harmless remark, "will you look after my son when i am not around" shes an 85 year old,and while i hope it was not meant in any way badly,it led onto a bad dream and some thoughts which wouldn't go away!!I was shocked that she said it, and said "we will all look after him", meaning the Christian Bikers, and that evening i was so puzzled why she asked me, there are a lot closer people to him,i didn't think of him as a close friend,obviously as he is a married man!
I have asked some other people what she meant and no one knows, or wants to answer what they really think!So its stirred up some stuff! Mostly not connected but i have had some very unsettling dreams, NOT SEX DREAMS!! since then and feel very tearful, i do feel better today since i went to church.
Maybe I should have told him what she said! but then i feel ashamed what it all led into,...but then non of it was my fault anyway! I am really hoping that it wasn't meant badly,because i have seen her be a bit jealous and spiteful before with her family so i just don't know what to think!! very confusing!!
It has led into me feeling actually bad about being un-married, the first time ever!..i have never even thought about it,it was my life, and i was very happy with that! but i think also that i was putting a Barrier up to God,"I don't want it",I was deciding the path i was going to take, i was deciding for my life!!...my life is not mine but His, but of course i do know that the Bible says that its wrong to re-marry after divorce,if your Husband is still alive,i have TWO living ex-husbands!! so i don't think God is going to go against the Bible!!(or commit adultery which it says re-marriage is).

Tuesday 23 May 2017

Adrian's memorial

I have had a really busy week,Joe helped me take some stuff to the tip,Tash had to go to hospital on a drip because of Morning sickness,and Daisy spent most of Monday in hospital with bad stomach pains.There has been another terrorist attack in u.k yesterday, but i am too upset to talk about it, because mothers and fathers are still searching for their children, a young couple Chloe and Liam are still missing, Liam's Dad died a few months ago...
I went to my friend Ruth's brother Adrian's funeral today,i was upset because Ruth was in tears... and like Forest Gump thats all i want to say about that....

Saturday 6 May 2017

Ride 4 Life

we had a great day yesterday, we did the ride for life, at a Airbase about 2o miles away, we ran the helmet park,which was free, voluntary contribution to the local air ambulance, but best of all we gave out a lot of biker bibles, the wind was very strong, and i was really cold, so i had to buy a thick jumper!!we looked after almost 200 helmets and jackets.My legs are really aching today!, and i hadn't had much sleep the nigh before and at one point wasn't going to go either!