Fickle

I was accused being Fickle by Brian on monday night!!, i was going to the Main meeting of the c.m.a,and Mike had forgoten about it so having waited outside His house i didnt want to travel the thirty miles or so on my own so i rang Brian and explained and asked him if i could get a lift with him and Helen, when i started driving over there i saw Mike on his way Back, so rang Bri and said i would be going with Mike, Brian said "oh you are fickle!! first you are going with me and then with Mike" , i said "i'm shocked Brian you are a married man" he laughed a lot and he pretended to be annoyed!!,AND told everyone at the meeting that he had been stood up! It all seems very silly now but he told me he had had the same type of jokes with some old ladies at the church the same day, it had made him feel very happy!! So why am i relating such a small thing here, because later Helen told me they had been under attack from the Enemy,because of their children,so have i!!..,so it was so good to be able to make him laugh! i am not ready to talk about my "attck" yet,but will with time.Praise God for His patience with me a filthy rotten sinner.

I WILL TELL MY TESTIMONY! God willing.

Life is good! God is good!! I have wonderful children, and wonderful Grandchildren! i am so blessed! the enemy has a go at trying to wreck my "quiet in the Land" but the Lord is in charge of my life!! Praise Him!! He wont stop me doing what the Lord has planned for me,with Gods grace i will tell my testimony, and what He has done for me!!

Praise God!

I love the Lord so much, and i just know that my life would be so much worse with out Him in it, His favour is so undeserved though,i am such a filthy rotten sinner and i let Him down everyday...but He is always there ready to forgive and full of Love! and i know He said we will go through trying times as He did, and "may are the afflictions of the righteous" but we never have to go through anything alone again!! So i am trying to do as David did and Praise Him and thank Him for trials and test!!Praise God!!

Topol

I am feeling like Topol in "the fiddler on the roof",who in one of the songs is having a conversation with God,it could be the one called "if i were a rich man" where he says would it be against some Vast eternal plan if God had made him a rich man! My Dear sister in the Lord Terry Loving said that the whole thing of me having to leave yet another church a few years by the stalking ex Howard, was all part of Gods plan to bring me into the work I now do for Him in the Christian Motorcyclist Asociation, which was very hard to believe when she said it! but i have been reading back to the begining of this blog in 2009, and it really does seem like she is right! Thank you Terry for your wisdom, and God for putting us in touch! So how do i feel like Topol?, well of course if God was stopping me going to that church for a reason, surely when i went to the Police and they did nothing,it means that God was in control then, and what i want to believe that they are unwilling to help is untrue..I of course was sending a silent prayer would "it have ruined some vast eternal plan if he had actually been arrested for stalking and raping me"?..sighs, well would it Lord? Today it seems that so many Men, violent rapists are never punished, and if i didnt know God that reality would be overwhelming, but it said in my Bible reading earlier that " everything that is done in secret will be shown" so they will get justice one day, and very un-christian like of me i know but those who claim to be born again like Howard,who ARE NOT, will pay the ultimate price, very satisfying , and un-forgiving i know..

Victim blaming part 2

I am reeling from reading many blogs about "victim blaming"...And some other blogs gives the count of women who had died from domestic violence and has some heartbreaking accounts of how these women and some young girls have died,( by the excellent Karen Ingala Smith, and Caroline criado Perez) .Even more sickening the blogger who talks about the "VICTIM BLAMING"of the 11 year old girl who got pregnant years ago, the press were all over it, blaming her and her mother...it emerged in 2009 that the child was her brothers,where was the outrage and blaming then? He was 16, and as the blogger said he HAD RAPED his sister.( because how can an 11 year old consent to Sex)..and when he came out of prison his mum took him back home, the girl had the baby taken away and was kept in hospital because she was unable to cope with the pyscological affects... this wasn't in an underdeveloped country, it was Britain..

Let downs,and the "Machine Gun Preacher"

Feeling badly let down at the moment by an old friend, Andre,am trying not to fall into the enemies trap of anger and unforgiveness though...feeling discouraged all round at the moment,Andre said "you are not forgotten" then forgot to tell me and Mike he wasn't coming up as planned yesterday!!!..and has forgotten to pay me back the money i lent him too...Sad..humiliating too, but of course that is the Enemies plan, so i am going to stay cheerful today!!..
So the things i am thankful for this week, and the past month?, Tashie has had a good report from the hospital about her Eyes, so is able to start planning for her next driving test,Nathan is happy with Kelly, they have been living together for two months now!..and hopefully will get married one day,Joe is back here hopefully to stay,Zannie is happy and So is Max,and that just leaves Ben...what can i say, he never seems happy,usually quite Angry, but i know he is happy in his life, he does what he wants, gets almost everything he wants, (D.V.D's)Youth club!!,so my life is really good,i want my sons and daughters, AND GRANDCHILDREN! to get born again,and the people they love in their lives too of course,i ask the Lord every night, and its all in His time!!
So a friend letting me down is small in comparison to the Good the Lord has given me in my life!! Mike let me down, when he chose Howard over me, but now he calls ME his prayer partner!!, and Howard is hardly in his life anymore, and of course i have so many good friends in the C.M.A! and i know the Lord has me where I am and its His plan for me! I watched to story of the "Machine Gun Preacher" on t.v yesterday,we went to see him speak last year,it puts his story into context better!!

We are all "Jean Hatchet"( from Twitter)

It been quite a day about news from the convicted rapist Ched Evans in the U.K, it started the day with the likley-hood that he was going to be given a Footballing contract with a club called Oldham Athletic, they have rethought it and now the negative publicity and mostly the money they are going to lose,made them change their mind, then the Footballer Ched Evans has at last issued an apology of sorts,(which was one point that was annoying people as he seemed completely without remorse)...so what now? As Christian is that the end of the matter?...he has served half of his 5 year sentence...many, many people have said he has "paid the price" The excellent Jill Saward an anti rape campaigner, has spoken out about it many times, and her blog today has been talking about the name "MOB" which those who disagree with the public outcry, (and specifically the online Petition by Feminist Jean Hatchet (which has been the fastest growing petition online ever in this country) ARE CALLED, free speech is "god" to them, until they disagree with someone else's freely epressed opinion...then the name calling starts.Most women are silent on the blog calling the names, all the answering comments are by men..supporting the name calling of course...They must be brothers ,fathers,uncles....Do they think a drunk relative of theirs deserves to be raped because she would have been incapable to give consent?... My mind goes back to Stephanie Slaters father,who said her Kidnapper need not have raped her because she behaved, and gave him no trouble... "did everything he asked of her" were his exact words....a strange thing to say which really leaves me cold, so would she deserve to be raped if she didnt do what he asked of her? Stephanie herself has said her Parents were unable to talk about emotions, so i don't want to condemn a man who was not able to express himself better...

Tashies Birthday.

I missed Biker church for the first time in 22 months yesterday,becasue it was Tashies birthday meal, which was very nice, she is 29 now, it was really nice to get together with almost all the family, (except Joe because he has fallen out with both his sisters husbands/boyfriends on facebook...) We had a nice Christmas, i was expecting to go to Mikes but he changed his mind and said he wanted to be miserable on his own!!!,so Darren came to my house, and Joe and daisy and the Baby too!I have started to get the house sorted out a bit more, have done some more on my Painting of a snow scene, and done some more on Ellie's Patchwork quilt, i have had Max for two mornings in the holiday,had a chest infection.So a lot has been going on, and yet not much too...everything is back to normal..shops are back to normal opening hours.I have been having groceries delivered for a while now, with Ben not getting up until late, that has gone back to more or less normal now, hes getting up at one thirty p.m, instead of four -5 p.m!!...So life is as boring and "crap" as always,( name of blog,) but of course my Life really is not Crap at all, i have my Wonderful Saviour in my life, five healthy Children, and two healthy Grandchildren, i am in contact with my Dad, after 25 years of Estrangment, and now have a better relationship with him than i have had in my whole life!! so life is good good good! Praise God! I wish i could change the name of my blog..but its been SIX years, i don't get many people reading it, but that does not really matter to me,as it really is just a diary for me,its open for anyone to read and when i am dead and gone it will just fade in to the Ether....