Coronation Day, and two bank holidays!!

Its been a long weekend...the King was crowned,and even the anti monarchists had a Day off work! its like the Athiests who send and recieve Christmas presents, but Christmas was originally a Pagan Festival( the shortest day, here in Europe), Jesus was born in October, or september! We had a biker church nearby,about 20 miles,away and we did the Stafford show, which was good and another one at the end of May! It was nice to see some people who i havent seen for a few years.. Poor Suki had to go to the Vet because the puppy Coda decided to try to beat him up!...so as usual spending a fortune at the vet!

Giving myself a good talking to!

I wish i could remember if i was always a second guesser...or is it a result of the abusive people i have had themiss fortune to encounter! Some days i feel like "a strong confident woman" ( misquoting Lady Colin Campbell!).. sometimes i feel like the Ragosaurus cant be contained...and on those days i give everyone a wide birth.. or is it them giving me a wide birth?!!.. I was reading on here a few days ago a few posts i did just a day before i was prescribed Anxiety meds...and i didnt seem to be suffering any Anxiety that Day..puzzling..and when i blame the Abuser for my Panic Attack, and my Anxiety am i in Sin?...i think i might be! Either I have forgiven them or i havent,David Wilkerson said once we forgive a person, it should never be mentioned again...hard, very hard...I am denying the work of God in my life and in others life if i mention it again...in fact the only time i believe it should be even used is to help and encourage others in that situation i used to be in...in fact i am so far away from that , (that when Joe brought Emily back to meet me, and i took them to see Jon,i heard Jon say that Ruth wasnt very well, and couldnt come out to say hello)..but Joe was worried the next day, and said he could hear Ruth talking in the background..so why couldnt she stick her head around the door, or even wave through the Window?...the mind boggles! and it is shamefully easy for my mind to think the worst..