Today i am grateful to God for Terry Loving,the Woman who has the Website ' Spiritual side of domestic Violence', she has done an Article about the effects on children of domestic violence,and i have shared too,very painful, she shares her life as a child going through these things.
I hope it helps others who are going through it now.
Another day of not being able to go to the caravan,the 'runs' this time....still there is always tomorrow!!
Went to the Bikers church,absolutely wonderful, really really blessed,the Holy Spirit was there, Praise Him!
I came away a bit discouraged,wondering how God can use me in the church, or to Bikers? He has a plan, just wish He would let me in on it!!!
I also felt while i was there and listening to an Old lady give some of her testimony, that i would be up there giving Mine!!! quite a shock, never really been asked for my testimony!! i have given parts of it a few times, so i have been going through it with the Lord over the past few days, even if i am never asked, it has really shown me how much i have to thank Him for!!!...
Tuesday 30 April 2013
Sunday 28 April 2013
Judgemental.
Today i am grateful to God, for the many blessings He gives us, i was watching David Pawson, a Christian teacher, who was saying the God is not the loving God to all, as some people say,in fact He only LOVES the righteous, those who believe in Him, have repented and try to live right afterwards, And that those who say how could a Loving God....let humans die in horrific bomb blasts,allow child abuse,or any Innocents suffer? are in fact NOT reading the Bible properly, because tells His servants to wipe out whole races in the Old Testament....
He held up His Bible showing the front edge,'does it have finger marks right across' he said! ( which of course means that we should be reading the whole Bible and not just the New Testament, He is the same God after all, was His point, although some believers don't acknowledge that , i think i said before that a Pastor in this town speaking in a debate about Homosexuality,said that the prohibition was the old 'Mosiac Law' (Moses and the Ten commandments), as if somehow that was less Valid!... and of course we all know that Sodomy was condemned in the new testament too, in fact equated on the same level as Bestiality..
I am not one of those believers who would condemn anyone, I am a Sinner too,in fact as i have said before i knew a wonderful Lesbian called Michelle, who was more Christ like than many of the Christian i knew at the time....
The Willow tree has gone, cut right down to the ground, from being a 20-20 foot tree, overshadowing mine and the neighbours gardens,felt a bit bad about it, but as my garden is only 15 feet wide, and about 30 feet long it was unmanageable, i can get the rest of it cleared now,exciting!
I am hoping to make it to to Bikers church today,God willing,which is the only church i cant wait for, i have to force myself to go to any other church, although the Bible does not say 'thou shalt attend a church every Sunday and be bored solid during a 'sermon', It does say in fact, 'do not neglect the GATHERING together' which i don't, and to be Honest i don't really believe in the modern model of church, after reading the excellent book by Bob Tench,called i think, 'Gods City',
He talks about a Man not unlike Pilgrims progress, who is looking for the City of God, Abraham did too if i remember correctly,He finds what He at first considers to be Gods City, but feels unsatisfied,so goes on in His journey.Bobs point being of course that we are never really satisfied in 'Churchianity' if we are seeking God,He even goes on to say, we cant find God there, because He isn't there!!!...
He believes that the true model of church is as the early church was, meeting in homes, everyone feeling free to share,'one would bring a Psalm,one a word', and 'a little child shall lead them' most kids are separated, from the main body of people,He says that when the Emperor Constantine,became a believer, He kicked out the Pagans, and the temples were handed over to the Believers,so church became the same set out as school, and only one person can contribute.
Of course i have had some bad experiences in Church, so anyone reading this could say 'well my church isn't like that, we feel genuinely cared for by the Pastor, and our brothers and Sister, we can share our heart in the meetings',that's fine of course, but my experience is that unless you are a VERY forceful personality, who will share, despite others, (Like Mike, God bless Him)!!! we come away from church , not feeling like its satisfying,and our need to share too not met.
He held up His Bible showing the front edge,'does it have finger marks right across' he said! ( which of course means that we should be reading the whole Bible and not just the New Testament, He is the same God after all, was His point, although some believers don't acknowledge that , i think i said before that a Pastor in this town speaking in a debate about Homosexuality,said that the prohibition was the old 'Mosiac Law' (Moses and the Ten commandments), as if somehow that was less Valid!... and of course we all know that Sodomy was condemned in the new testament too, in fact equated on the same level as Bestiality..
I am not one of those believers who would condemn anyone, I am a Sinner too,in fact as i have said before i knew a wonderful Lesbian called Michelle, who was more Christ like than many of the Christian i knew at the time....
The Willow tree has gone, cut right down to the ground, from being a 20-20 foot tree, overshadowing mine and the neighbours gardens,felt a bit bad about it, but as my garden is only 15 feet wide, and about 30 feet long it was unmanageable, i can get the rest of it cleared now,exciting!
I am hoping to make it to to Bikers church today,God willing,which is the only church i cant wait for, i have to force myself to go to any other church, although the Bible does not say 'thou shalt attend a church every Sunday and be bored solid during a 'sermon', It does say in fact, 'do not neglect the GATHERING together' which i don't, and to be Honest i don't really believe in the modern model of church, after reading the excellent book by Bob Tench,called i think, 'Gods City',
He talks about a Man not unlike Pilgrims progress, who is looking for the City of God, Abraham did too if i remember correctly,He finds what He at first considers to be Gods City, but feels unsatisfied,so goes on in His journey.Bobs point being of course that we are never really satisfied in 'Churchianity' if we are seeking God,He even goes on to say, we cant find God there, because He isn't there!!!...
He believes that the true model of church is as the early church was, meeting in homes, everyone feeling free to share,'one would bring a Psalm,one a word', and 'a little child shall lead them' most kids are separated, from the main body of people,He says that when the Emperor Constantine,became a believer, He kicked out the Pagans, and the temples were handed over to the Believers,so church became the same set out as school, and only one person can contribute.
Of course i have had some bad experiences in Church, so anyone reading this could say 'well my church isn't like that, we feel genuinely cared for by the Pastor, and our brothers and Sister, we can share our heart in the meetings',that's fine of course, but my experience is that unless you are a VERY forceful personality, who will share, despite others, (Like Mike, God bless Him)!!! we come away from church , not feeling like its satisfying,and our need to share too not met.
Thursday 25 April 2013
More Patience please
Today i am grateful to God because He gives me the ability to deal with difficult people,to have patience,and although sometimes these annoying people do try my patience and i bite back, He still forgives me!
i had a rather disturbing dream about my Ex last night, despite trying to think the other day that i hardly ever dreamt about him,!! i was doing various things surrounded by a group of people who were physically very close to me and someone was touching my thigh area,but so many people were pressed up against me, that i did not notice, but later i knew it was him, he was getting closer in each part of the dream until he was almost in my face,he had started being very unobtrusive,until i shouted at him to get away,i was not scared or even annoyed by him, being so obvious!!!...Maybe God was telling me that he really is just not part of my life anymore,and i don't have to worry, and whatever he thinks or believes, its his problem, just because i am the object of his obsession,its not my problem!!!
i had a rather disturbing dream about my Ex last night, despite trying to think the other day that i hardly ever dreamt about him,!! i was doing various things surrounded by a group of people who were physically very close to me and someone was touching my thigh area,but so many people were pressed up against me, that i did not notice, but later i knew it was him, he was getting closer in each part of the dream until he was almost in my face,he had started being very unobtrusive,until i shouted at him to get away,i was not scared or even annoyed by him, being so obvious!!!...Maybe God was telling me that he really is just not part of my life anymore,and i don't have to worry, and whatever he thinks or believes, its his problem, just because i am the object of his obsession,its not my problem!!!
Wednesday 24 April 2013
Pharisee,- or ashamed of the Gospel?
Today i am grateful to God, because He died for me,He loves us so much,that's why He did it, so we don't have to pay the price for our sin,Praise Him, i had yet another sleepless night, the night before last,seems it just something i have to put up with, part of life i guess!!I was reading last night from MATHEW 22.Jesus was talking about the Pharisees, and how they put burdens on others,yet not on themselves, the part which stood out most to me was where He condemns the 'scribes and Pharisees', i was just wondering who the modern day Pharisees were, Pharisees were Priests in Biblical times,i suppose its too easy to point the finger at church leaders, and some do seem keen on the letter of the LAW, and not the SPIRIT,at the time it happened i thought the Pastor who brought me to the Lord was harsh to keep the the BIBLE STRICTLY, ,but now i would do the same!! as far as I can anyway,at the time i would have thought of him as a Pharisee....and yet i have been to churches where the 'difficult' and challenging, things where not talked about, Hell,etc, in fact i even heard the Pastor say 'oh, that's from the old Mosaic law' as if it wasn't relevant!!!
Monday 22 April 2013
green gardens
Today i am Grateful to God because, He is good,ALL THE TIME,Praise Him!!!this week i have lost my temper, had an elderly driver almost run into me, and if i had not braked she would have, she raised he r hand to say 'thanks, for letting me in'.!!!!......very strange!!, another elderly driver come round a traffic Island, indicating to turn first left, not turn,and stop halfway across the island....all on the same day..IF i was paranoid i would say someone was out to get me, of course I'm not,but just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!!!!....Life is good,i am hoping to go to another Bikers church, next Sunday,God willing,someone is coming to cut down the remainder of the Weeping Willow tree in the back Garden,seems a small thing, but it was so big that it completely shaded my garden and the neighbours too! I am hoping to be able to grow some vegetables, and have already planted some more Hollyhocks!! the wild life pond has a lot of frogspawn too so that's quite interesting, we have very good light soil, ideal growing conditions,but so many slugs and snails that everything that grows is eaten, i have to be careful where i dig though because of the various dogs,six Yorkshire Terriers buried there!!
Friday 19 April 2013
Victim blaming and false repentence
Today i am grateful to God for,.. clarity of thought, and even though i have physical illnesses, i have a clear mind,my friend who has a mental problem has really shown me this,by observing this in his life and his crumbling relationships with others.
Although according to Ben and Joe's Dad, Jon i have not got a clear mind,am not 'right in the head',hilarious....an Abuser calling ME deficient!!!,( and of course over the last 26 years of knowing him he has said this about every Woman he has been with)!!!!!....
I have been reading a wonderful blog called 'A Cry for Justice', which Terry gave a link for on her blog,'spiritual side of domestic Violence', today they were talking about calling Good Evil, and Evil Good, and the line that most stood out to me was 'I have never seen an Abuser actually confronted with their evil' in church,Victim blaming happens, false tears of repentence are taken for true repentence.
Although according to Ben and Joe's Dad, Jon i have not got a clear mind,am not 'right in the head',hilarious....an Abuser calling ME deficient!!!,( and of course over the last 26 years of knowing him he has said this about every Woman he has been with)!!!!!....
I have been reading a wonderful blog called 'A Cry for Justice', which Terry gave a link for on her blog,'spiritual side of domestic Violence', today they were talking about calling Good Evil, and Evil Good, and the line that most stood out to me was 'I have never seen an Abuser actually confronted with their evil' in church,Victim blaming happens, false tears of repentence are taken for true repentence.
Saturday 13 April 2013
Gods Patience with me
Today i am thankful to God,for His patience, He has endless patience! Praise Him, i wish i did, the last two posts i have done have been lost somehow,(the last part of it,) really really frustrating! yesterday i told the wonderful story of my friend Pete, the day before i was talking about how God loves us, and all the 'hidden' people, the battered women, single mothers , and how much He loves all of us and how He sees all they suffer in silence....Praise the Lord, for He is good.When this starts working better i will share them again.
Friday 12 April 2013
my cup runeth over.
Today i am grateful to God because He loves Me all the time even when i mess up, and being a parent myself, (and although i love my children all the time) i get very exasperated when they make the same mistakes ,!!!...all my family is doing well, they are all happy too,including my Dad,who i try to talk to regularily.God is good...ALL THE TIME!!....
Thursday 11 April 2013
The Great 'I AM'
Today i am Grateful to God because He IS the great 'I AM'.......ALL POWERFUL, ALL KNOWING,loving Father.The real I AM.... (MY my Mum used to say that my Dad thought of himself as this!!!... I had no idea what it meant at all until i became a Christian!)
God is good...all the time! Praise Him.
God is good...all the time! Praise Him.
Wednesday 10 April 2013
life and other crap
Today i am grateful to God for.........what, so tired i have to really search for that....sorry Lord,...i am grateful to Him for His protection of us, Sandra and i have had to 'pay the Piper' for the blessing we had the other day, shes been ill, and i have had a hard time too, we prayed this morning, and asked for His protection, and for the enemy's onslaught to stop, and as it says in the Word of God,'if a child asks for bread, we don't get a stone!..Praise Him!
Monday 8 April 2013
Biker Church
Today i am grateful to God for Biker Church, the place i WANTED to go, and the place i didn't want to go,i didn't have to,it was a real blessing to me,i felt really at home there,amongst all the leather and denim! halleljah1, i have always said i would rather go into a room filled with Hells angels than a church,!!( because the angels are less judgemental)!!God listened and took me for my word!!.....so blessed,i think maybe this will be the Ministry God has for me,i am willing,if that's what He wants for me,Praise God!!!...
Monday 1 April 2013
where I want to go, and where I DONT!!..
Today I am grateful to God for.....Rising from the dead, He is risen!,He is risen indeed! i got out to church last night,very nice, to be with others on the most important day in the christian calender,i found it hard to concentrate, on what was being said, did not pray out loud, or really listen to what the Pastor said, but i got out of the house...!!!Praise Him.
Darren was going to come, but was overcome in the end by nerves, he was only doing it to please Barbara and Edwin,maybe God wants it to come from him? There are a few things i wanted to talk about but i feel a check in my spirit, almost if i admit certain things bother me he will have an advantage over me!!.....(there are places i want to go over the next week, and places i don't want to go! but its about where God wants me to go! )
If he stops pushing you one way,watch out cos he wants you to go another way!....I have prayed with Sandra that He will make it clear what he wants me to do, in the next few days, so God knows, the enemy doesn't need to!!!
Darren was going to come, but was overcome in the end by nerves, he was only doing it to please Barbara and Edwin,maybe God wants it to come from him? There are a few things i wanted to talk about but i feel a check in my spirit, almost if i admit certain things bother me he will have an advantage over me!!.....(there are places i want to go over the next week, and places i don't want to go! but its about where God wants me to go! )
If he stops pushing you one way,watch out cos he wants you to go another way!....I have prayed with Sandra that He will make it clear what he wants me to do, in the next few days, so God knows, the enemy doesn't need to!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)