My Car, apples tree, and the Enemy.

My Old car has been taken away!! i feel quite sad about that although its only gone to have an estimate for repair after it was run into, the poor guy had already been once to to this road, and back to their garage, 35 miles away! i am hoping for good things, a good result from the estimate, it has been almost two months since it was run into! Its a good thing something is being done about it, at last i suppose...still hate for it to be away, so stupid its just a hunk of metal..but to me it represents a promise from the Lord, He told me to get rid of the one i had before and that he had something good for me! I have had it for 13 yrs and only the alternator has ever gone wrong!
Its raining again and has been all week, which means all the weeds in the garden are growing at double speed! its a bit annoying to clear the garden of nettles to have them back again three weeks later!, i pulled them up by the roots but there must have still have been some roots in the ground..
I let the dogs out last night about 1.am, and Suki was staring at something white in the old apple tree,( that was grown from an apple core planted in the ground on the 1930's,) one side of the tree has died and there is a forked branch,i could see whatever it was looking back at me, i think it was a cat, and i had heard something on the metal coal bunker, but i have looked today and its quite a long jump 4-5 feet, probably a cat, but why would it have been outside at that time, maybe its a stray? strange, there are two white cats that come in the day time and sit on the fence at the bottom of the garden, but i have never seen them at night!
I suppose i could just put it down to the strange things that happen at the back of this house, from Nathan seeing a light coming in at the window, and thinking that Aliens were coming in to Kidnap him, Joe seeing a huge creature outside with glowing red eyes, Tashie having apples thrown at her from and empty garden, as she came through the gate at night time from next door where her friend lived then,and i saw a shimmering full size figure round the apple tree..Tashie was sleeping in the back bedroom,(where Nathan and Joe had slept),and i heard her scream "get away from me"i went in straight away, and she was very frightened,and she said she had woken up to feel like something was trying to have sex with her...Incubus.. Even the next door neighbour had seen his back door handle move when there was no one outside, just a few feet from the gate where Joe saw that thing...
I don't want to give the enemy and his tactics too much credit,i know humans have an unhealthy fascination with his methods,its what he uses to draw people in, but it also says in the Word of God not to "be ignorant of the Enemy and his devices" I don't really have a choice! but i don't let it bother me, and i know that The Lord is protecting me and my family, so praise Him for that!!

Brexit,double sunset

Its been a fraught day here in the U.K! we have had the vote for the referendum to leave the European Union! and very surprisingly the "leave vote" had the most votes, 17 million people! now those who lost are not happy and some very nasty things are being said! sad sad sad!! and being the un pleasant thing that it is Facebook is awash with sour grapes,accusations of racism,ageism.but its only one day, i just wish there was as much passion for the Gospel!!

Rain rain go away,come again another day.. and another and another.....

Its raining again, it seems to have been raining here in England for weeks,after a few weeks of good sunny weather, then the deluge! its strange weather...today is the longest day,17 hours of daylight, and a full moon. maybe this has something to do with the weather..(although for most of the c.m.a things we have done the rain has stayed away, even when there has been rain all around us! thank you Lord!!) I am getting the house sorted out,last week i was able to clean up some things that had been bothering me for a while, Ben's not been emptying his bin, and stopped cleaning up after the dogs,so we were able to do that together,and make a new start, sometimes things get overwhelming,but quietly plugging away at things can be the best way to deal with it!
I have replaced the glass in the sliding doors, (i could have done that this week when i would have had the money, but used the money i was going use to go away in the caravan !!i get sort of fixated on doing something and don't think about the consequences until too late!!of course this week i have plenty of money, but not the good weather to go there!)
There has been some terrible things happening in the news,in Orlando in America,a gunman shot dead forty nine people for being gay, i cried with the mothers,sisters fathers who were interviewed on t.v, my dear Sister in Him, Terry Loving wrote a wonderful piece on her site "spiritual side of domestic violence", rebuking a Pastor who said some hateful stuff about Gay People, all i know is that we are all His children,and since i have a friend who has a Gay Son,i feel so sorry for those poor parents.
I have never met a hateful Gay woman or man, but i have met plenty of hateful so called "Christians", and as i have said before my friend from college Michelle was so loving and kind, i even said to her " a lot of people i know would not talk to you" yet lovely Gay Michelle showed more Love, more Christ like Love that those who proudly boast of being called by His Name....
The world has changed so much, and i suppose it is hard for everyone to get used to new things, or new attitudes to Gods children,I am no saint, NO not at all,i have sinned, and i still do, i struggle with Un-forgiveness EVERY day, i think bad thoughts about people who have hurt me for no more good reason than they enjoyed seeing me suffer,but i have heard the Voice of God speak into my hateful thoughts,saying "Don't you think I can make him into the man you need him to be" while i was thinking what a stupid, thick, man my Husband was, Howard! but i still think those very thoughts!! even after i was stopped in my tracks by hearing His actual Voice!! so i fail, i do the wrong thing everyday, i don't deserve His love,i am a filthy rotten sinner, so how dare i ever Judge someone else?....

Good thoughts or bad thoughts

Its been 8 or 9 days since i last posted... while i have been going through i lot of stuff i haven't wanted to share it and i don't really want to now..except for one thing...i wrote a letter to a person, Avril, that i use to be very close to, she was really my best friend, and one day she just cut me off without a word or a reason, the worst part for me was that around the last time that i saw her she had been suicidal...and to be perfectly honest i didn't know if she was alive or dead!..she had blocked me on Facebook but recently unblocked me so i could see she was o.k..which was a sort of relief, i was feeling really angry with her and wrote her a letter, and a private message on Facebook neither of which i sent!!and i know it sounds awful but i don't think i should contact her again,because someone that would cause me that much distress, which affected my whole life doesn't deserve to be in my life, or any sort of acknowledgement from me, they don't deserve my good or bad thoughts, they don't deserve one more moment of my time!I should have been treated better by her, and the others, many ,others who chose not too!!
I expect to have angry,gut wrenching days when i think "how could they" ...but they are getting less and less...i cant tell how many letters i have written, to Howard, to Jon, i even sent one to Avril a few years ago,(which was just a general apology for what ever i could think of that had caused this) but most of the time the letters i write i don't send and tear up when the feelings go!! The Word of God says, "be angry, but don't sin" so being angry in NOT a sin, but anger nursed,fed, eats away at us like a Cancer,so that is why our Loving God has given us the gift of forgiveness, its not a free pass for the bad guys, but for us, to FREE us from the lasting effects of others choices on out lives!
Its hot here, really hot, 23 degrees,we had a rain storm tonight which thankfully has brought the temperature down. I have been working in the garden planting tomatoes,potatoes,and green beans, i have seen a local garden centre which sells plants cheaply, a family run firm, with about four large greenhouses that grow everything from seed themselves! Ben has been getting up earlier now, most day at 11.am,which despite my complaining about it has peeved me a bit because it means i don't have a lot of time to myself!!it was getting me down for a while and i was just sometimes sleeping myself in the day time,it seems like i am never happy!!
Helen is not any better yet...am still waiting for the Lord to heal her.