Change is coming.

Well its over!! Colin and sheilas 50th is over, and looking at the photos on facebook there are no pictures of Ben or any of my other sons and daughters, and there were eight of them in total, (four kids and various partners and max and my step grandson Will...)..i am trying not to get annoyed about it!!there has been stress all week, Jon was being his usual jerk self and said something disgusting about Joe's friend and the dog..it was just the last straw for Joe,Jon is always humiliating Joe, his girlfriend as a "joke" even gave Joe a kids tell the time book, because he has trouble getting up!! When Joe was living with Jon after he ran away from home,and Jon would be having underage girlfriends,and selling illegal stuff.He saw the worst side of Jon,so no he doesn't want Jon in his life,and he doesn't want the baby around Jon either,he wont let Jon have the baby on his own,Jon called Ben a little" S**t"on Sunday, years ago Jon said to me that he couldn't wait til "his" boys were grown up and they saw what a terrible person i was, now neither of them can stand him!!its really sad..

nearly there... nearly there!!! shots fired,more ready to go!..

not long now...,nearly there....,someone who has bothered me for years is almost out of the picture!! just a few more hours and then life for them will change, and they wont call the shots anymore!!, (they never did really but i am so lazy i just let them keep thinking it!!)..they have really shot themselves in the foot this time!!, and have just gone too far, thinking they can speak to my children like dirt, NOT HAPPENING ANYMORE!! update as and when it happens!

Diamonds Wedding and good news!!

Its 11p.m and i am wide awake downstairs, i have been asleep ay this time,and struggle up to bed at 1.am.. and then of course i cant sleep, i have finally had to give in and put the heating on because it is getting cold at night!! the enemy has been having a 'go' at me and my family over the last four days...but what else is new!!, so boring, but i guess its his job!! maybe i will share what has been going on later...i have been better at reading the bible, and Praise Him, the Holy Spirit has always spoken to me through it!!so not much to report, although a lot is going on i don't feel like giving the Enemy any recognition today!!, but the best part of the last few days is that Joe's has got a job and that means that all four are all in full time jobs!( yes i have five children,but Ben is not able to work.).Its Ben and Joe's grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary on friday, and all of my children are going,except Joe and he may even go in the end!!..there is still time for some bridges to be built, lets not give the Enemy any credit just yet! or his servants!

Mammon

I have not been praying and read the word of god for a while, i have been discouraged by being in the house such a lot, because of Ben's erratic sleeping patterns,but finally today i managed to finish the bible passage i had started yesterday, John 18, which is talking about Jesus being condemned by the "Jews", it hard to find out what is exactly meant by the Jews,because the whole country was full of Jews, except for the few invading Romans,anyway the part that really struck me was why the 'Jews' chose the robber Barrabas to pardon,and not Jesus?..we know the Jewish authorities and the Religious rulers hated Jesus, because He was so popular with the People, but its telling to me that they chose the one who had been involved with money, you only have to watch 15 mins of Religious t.v in this country to see that they are more interested in whats in your wallet than where your soul is going to end up,i was talking to Sandra and she was talking about how the Pastors wife had been warned by spirit filled brother that the rooms in the Church should not be hired out for Wordly Conferences,the Pastors wife had answered that the head office of the church had told them to hire out the rooms, so that church and the head office are just interested in making money, and The Bible itself says you cant serve God and mammon( money),i put it simpler, the Holy Spirit will leave if God is not given the Priority

harridan?,if only they knew how quiet i really am...

Oh dear my head is reeling!!.., i made the mistake of saying on the online magazine "Spiked" comments that everyone should be treated with respect and not judged for their looks, race, age etc.and of course i have had a torrent of abuse from men, mostly, (and a few women in the background of course!!),a young female Barrister got annoyed with an elderly married male Solicitor who commented about how beautiful she was and she shared it on twitter,she said,"How many women are contacted @ linkedin re physical appearance rather than professional skills" Then other professional women shared their similar experiences,so its been a subject of discussion in the u.k media about whether its o.k to give a woman a compliment!..Men are running scared!! a woman with intelligence made them look foolish!! laughing my socks off!!, i did quite like one comment i made,"watch out dinosaurs the world is changing women are demanding to be respected" Scary stuff for your average Mysogynist!!i did enjoy myself,one guy even said,you have not been reticent in expressing your opinion...oh my goodness if only he knew how quiet i am in real life...i suppose of course the psychologists out there would say i am being like this would say it was because of being dis-respected by the guy(Dick) in July!!...Abusive controlling men, and i am afraid normal guys feel its their right to have their egos stroked, and us women are expected to do this, make them feel the big "man"!i hate to say it but far too many of us women do that!! i did, and paid the price when i couldn't do it any more because of the abuse they were inflicting on me, but maybe i shouldn't have treated them like a child by re-enforcing their self esteem..i live and learn!! All my male friends are not like that, i refuse to do that with them,or my three sons,Darren needs to share with me when he is upset and bewildered by the world, i don't mind that, but the 4-5 phone calls and texts, repeated until i answer do get annoying, but he is learning!!

dentists and demons

We went to Ben's dentist the other day, its been very aggravating waiting for his teeth to be done, as he refused to go and have them out in hospital, where he would have had a General anesthetic, had two teeth out and four fillings all in one go...but he refused to go to hospital, so it has to be done in the local surgery.The local special needs dentist should not be a special needs dentist, i have told her that Ben doesn't like to be spoken too by someone who is almost a stranger and will just agree to anything, just to stop them speaking to him!!..i was on the point of travelling 35 miles to the nearest dentist,then on Monday when he had his tooth out her attitude was completely different,she kept checking with me that what he said was right!! the only difference was that i had prayed about the problem,not deep intimate prayer, but just a quick "Lord please be in this)!!..
As i am sitting here writing this some plates fell down in the kitchen ,o.k they could have been piled up awkwardly, but my phone fell down from the Mantlepiece, about a foot away from me!!no one else is around, no massive vibrations...this house is a strange place, i could pray against the enemy every day and it still happens,it does not scare me,i have lived with it for thirty years but some other people have been really freaked out by the crap that happens, last September when i was at the caravan Joe and Daisy got trapped upstairs cos an old welsh dresser had ACTUALLY MOVED in front of the door to the stairs..there was the "ghost" picture,(the Queen mother was passing in front of our house on the way to the Barracks up the road,all the Neighbours were outside ready to wave at her,i was standing by the front bay window, and my husband Mark took a photo from the other side of the road,with of the kids outside,when they were developed i was at my Mums, and on that photo next to me on my left there was a little Demonic face!!..my Mum said "maybe its one of the kids dolls"it wasn't, i never saw anything at the time, and a doll wouldn't be facing outwards anyway.) I don't want to think that anything demonic was hanging around me then,but i know the domestic violence didn't start until i moved into this house!! I have had deliverance for various inherited things,but i do know that the last family that lived in this house was not happy, as the Dad was having an affair, the Mum subsequently died from an illness and then Married the Woman he had been having the affair with, when i first moved in i used to hear kids crying for their Mum, not mine..

limbo

Oh dear oh dear, i am in limbo...i was asked by someone why i didn't want to go to bikers church yesterday, i explained the situation, and have heard nothing... i stated that i did not want to get anyone in trouble,but just could not respect that person lets call him Dick!!. anymore, of course it would be easier to get back into my sent emails and check it had been sent, but for some reason I cant get the sent emails up!!so i don't know if it has gone through, if it has been ignored ,or it has been taken "further" which i don't really want...i did not ask for confidentiality, but it is the sort of thing that is just expected!!....My Mum always used to say that if you had a secret, its yours, and if you share it expect it to become others property,no-one else will respect your secrets as they are not important to them,but am i being a hypocrite?.., on this blog i have named the abusers, as abuse only survives by secrecy,here in U.K there is now a facility to find out if someone has been convicted of Domestic violence offences, but many aren't,Mine haven't been convicted ,so that's why i have named them, its been a year and they haven't objected or denied it! i hate secrets because i am an honest person, and see no need for any secrecy..but my Mum is right in a way because now its out of my hands i don't have control over where it goes,or whats done with it, it has a life of its own!! but i told a trusted friend, i shared something that i have struggled with for weeks...i am not ready for it to be public property..but its been taken out of my hands...if i had wanted the person in trouble i could have complained myself,and still i don't know what is happening!! its like that song from the 1980's about aliens invading earth 'and still they come'moody blues i think!!

Nobody told me there would be days like these, strange days indeed

Well here i am again, my head is throbbing, i cant think straight, i didn't sleep again last night, well not in my own bed anyway,just on the settee..i have been going through a bad phase again with Ben,and his not sleeping,.. and now it is happening again with me!,in the daytime i am just being a couch potato,even when i get enough sleep..this isn't even anything worth writing about, so i don't know why i am!!