Lie and liars? Darren's carer called him a Liar yesterday...so we had a discussion about what lying is,he was upset, because he had told the truth and felt he wasn't a Liar!, when he complained to the Carers Boss, because he is Asperger's they said to him that, the Carer was just doing it 'because she cared' about him...As if because they are doing it out of affection it makes it o.k? Does it hurt less?and of course we come back to the old Lemon that if someone does "Care" about you, they don't hurt you, i know that is a very simplistic idea and that, as human being we disagree, argue, but Ghandi said"that forcing your will on another person is violence". that was a shock when i first read it, "too extreme" i thought!!! "stupid liberal, namby pamby-ism", but it's true!!
We are always told to 'trust our instincts '(i.e if something feels wrong, it is wrong,Feminists would say that we as women are 'conditioned' to defer to men in every way and to be emotionally available!, (I read a link to a very funny blog that said that women should charge for the emotional sympathy we give to men friends!! Well i have certainly been that to Darren, and even Andre in the past!..) No one conditioned ME! Its just something that God has put in our nature, its the mothering instinct,which of course MEN must never know , because obviously they are all big boys now! and don't need 'mothering' any more!! Yeah Right!! Ha Ha!!! behind every man is a woman who encourages , sympathises,MOTHERS THEM!!!..,the big babies!
So what about so called "lies of ommison?" which seems to just be,NOT telling the whole truth? Does anyone have the right to know the whole truth, how would we get by by telling the Whole truth, all the time?.I was trying to explain this to Darren, i don't know if it got through...because his Carer is very bossy,(controlling really), he is scared of her and feels he has to tell her, and everyone else all his business, all his wrong doing, leaving nothing out,because otherwise it would be lying!
No one has the right to know all our inner mind, all our private shameful thoughts, except God! Its just amazing that He loves me anyway!!.It's Grace, undeserved favour. Praise Him!.So what is the answer? As adults we choose what we let other people know about us,we filter and Edit constantly,which is tedious and exhausting.How can anyone ever be truly truthful? How can we be, without showing and making vulnerable the soft underbelly of our innermost selves, are we, am I, constantly living a dishonest life, pretending like the Abuser to be someone i am not? Despite all my so called humility i have an inner ego which makes me think really i am not such a bad person,"there are far worse people in the world i tell myself, and feel all puffed up,pious and self satisfied!
Pointing the finger!!, I am bad but they are worse ..ha ha, but every time I point the finger I have three fingers pointing right back at ME!
Pontius Pilate asked Jesus," What is Truth" We are still asking the same question today, not the sort of truth that they were talking about,the Person who is the Truth, who sets us free "the Truth will set you free", the One who was called "the Truth the Way and the Life" When and how do we learn to lie?, I remember when Ben's Dad realised the first time that Ben was lying to him, he thought it was wonderful! not surprising for an Abuser,I felt sad for his loss of innocence.Small children cant lie,they always tell the truth,its such a shame that this world, and our fallen human nature changes us, so much! I know WHO is Truth! its the everyday process of being ABSOLUTELY truthful that I have a problem with!!.
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