More Confidence, and dear Brothers.

Its 3.am, a full moon and not a surprise that i'm wide awake!!, prayed round the house boundary, before it got dark,but had no oil to spray around, prayer cant be enough.. i have had a strange week, on Monday i went to the Branch meeting and took the notes for the monthly prayer letter and afterwards quite a few people came to talk to me,all men,and one seemed to be awkwardly wanting to talk to me, but i put him at ease by talking friendly easy way to him,in fact people were waiting to speak to me,but they were all men, it didn't bother me much at the time, they are my brothers and a highly esteem them all,when i tried to sleep that night i could not because of the memory of these men wanting to talk to me!!!...it was very unsettling, which of course means it is the Enemies work, even when i went to the Gospel Choir on Wednesday i noticed some guys behaving differently towards me there!...the guy organising asked me to share the words sheet which we were short of, with the Lady next to me, but she was talking to someone else, so the man next to me asked me to share his, but the first guy looked annoyed, and i saw him staring at me too later!!! its very puzzling! on the way home i stopped at a stall to buy a phone cover and the guy offered me a sparkly one, which i hated but i said,"i am too old for sparkles" we chatted a bit more and he said " you are not old" i said" i am nearly sixty, fifty seven!! " you don't look it, i would marry you" he was about 25, very handsome,Arab man!!..While it was just banter on his part to get money out of me,it was a great puzzle to me!!
Then i was wondering, "why am i not able talk to men i don't know or even have a bit of , NON Flirty, banter with them?? of course the obvious answer would be because of the Vile men in my Past i can never trust men again, but that's not it!!I don't see every man as an Abuser! Praise God for that, its all His doing.
I have been feeling very confident for a while now,i suppose that's the difference.Reading this post back to edit it, it seems very boastful, as if i'm enjoying attention from men,but covering it by saying it is puzzling! its most definitely NOT that!!, i am an overweight Grandmother who would never want or seek men's attention, i feel as myself as an Asexual being, in the sense that i don't see myself as a sexual person, i never think about relationships, and would NEVER ever want to get married again!!(And as a person who reads the King James version of the Bible,I know it says those who are divorced can not Marry again,without committing Adultery,but i don't condemn others who do). God has given me the ability not to feel lonely or desire any of that stuff!! Praise Him!