Today i am grateful for Our God who still loves us,when we are not nice,when we let Him down.David has been my inspiration,when King Saul tried to kill him,he 'behaved himself before the Lord' and the people noticed his reaction, there are few Psalms where he does complain to God about His treatment when he was in the cave.
This was an early example of what Jesus called turning the other cheek, so i am struggling today, because of what is happening in Wales, where my caravan is.(Howard's baptism)
I don't really know why i am struggling, i don't wish him any ill will,( although i still cry about losing a large part of my grandsons life because of him, and my daughter too,)i can never feel i trust her again.Trust has to be earned.Our relationship hes been damaged,and will never be the same.
So there is a lot of sadness around thoughts of him,and although i do thank God for the peace he gave me,which is still there, some stuff will never be mended.
I know God understands, after all we are allowed to be' angry but not sin', of course i want to keep going to the meeting at Sandra's house,(even though the person who leads it can be quite hard to get along with), i am beginning to think that if i have anything to do with anyone from that Church i will eventually be challenged about the Ex, and have to explain myself yet again, ( for not getting back with him).It makes it hard to be friends with them, as with Mike i am always going to hear about him, so he is not out of my life.
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