Ben decided a week ago that her wanted to be a good guy, so the screaming and swearing at night has stopped!!,i cant remember if i had posted about that before.Andre has said that the Lord must be working in Ben's life, because when he took the overdose he said he promised God he would not watch horror films anymore!! I know when i take a step closer to God there is an improvement in Ben, this has been the biggest improvement ever and its hard to get used to!!,because he is defying all the supposed 'tells' of what Autism is! Someone i once knew said she had seen in a vision of Ben being an adult with no Autism, i didn't take much notice at the time,,but maybe this was from the Lord, it seems to be coming true now!
I am running to catch up to the new Ben! I don't really know why this has happened,i don't understand, and i know though that The Lord is in everything, and i cant thank Him enough! I don't understand the Spiritual connection between me and my son's and daughters!the good soul ties that He has put there!...i don't understand why two of my children chose to not have me in their lives,its not painful anymore, i feel that that is a thing in my Life i have not control over, but i do feel that i must have been a bad Mum because this has happened....
I know i did may things wrong, i didn't always do the best i could, and sometimes put my own needs above theirs, So for a while i felt i deserved to be rejected by them, and did the best i could to fix it. They are adults, they made their choices, i love them and wish them well in their lives.Unfortunately its quite normal for family to 'fall out' as we say in England,i don't know why i feel i should be any different because i was a single Mum,or expect loyalty!!
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