4.am

Its 4.am,and i am not tired, its one of the those phase's i go through once or twice a year where i am just unable to sleep,Ben is coming out of his winter phase of,sleeping until 6.pm, and i am doing the opposite!! My bowel habits have changed too...which is pretty unusual for me,i seem to have lost my sweet tooth, and some of my appetite, which is giving me constipation, and yet i am eating plenty of veg, at least five a day!!.
I am most creative during the insomnia episodes,i do the best writing,my mind doesn't shut down until i am utterly exhausted, i have just been to bed and started to drop off, so put down my Jeeves omnibus, lay down waiting to go to sleep,and... nothing!!
I have found sometimes praying 'in tongues' is helpful, because if the enemy is stopping my sleeping, strangely he would rather let me sleep! i have been reading lot of Captain Awkward's advice on friendship boundaries,so i have spent a long time, up to four hours a day on the laptop, maybe that's not helping me sleep!
I have also done a lot of reading back in this blog about the way i have been treated by so called friends, and tried to make some sense of it..Probably because my life is changing to a degree,i.e Mike and Andre,and new friendships.
One conclusion i have come to is that people are 'sent in' by the enemy when things are going well, with friends, in my life, it sounds a crazy self absorbed statement!! which it is, but i am Sure that God wants me to use my Mind, to avoid the Enemy's traps in future!
I was part of a powerful prayer walking group, we prayer walked round town everyday, for about three weeks,then a Woman called Evelyn came in and it was the end...people who i had known and trusted for years excluded me by critising my home,i had five children, between 6 and 16, bringing them up on my own, and the only critisim was, "she doesn't put the mop bucket away,from one week to another" what is interesting was that the Enemy used the relationship which had previously been very supportive,and it became abusive!!.. not just mop buckets,my 'friends' were encouraged to fade me out!!
So the Enemy was using the old techniques which had worked so well on me before!i.e critisim, and divide and conquer.In that group i grew so much and learned so much from the older ladies,about the Bible and the Lord,(more from Frances and Elizabeth and Coralee,less from Pat and Dot, who were more controlling, and would talk and bitch about the other women,they really didn't like them, and would find fault with them all,behind their backs, and i was just the silent, quiet and gentle person they recruited because the Lord gave me a Spiritual Sword,and i could hear His Voice,and was and am a Seer.
(Which just means that sometimes i see the world in layers,of time,i.e,my house is on a hill outside a town, over a river by a bridge, but i have seen the Hillside, green and a Druid human sacrifice in the place where my front room is...)
If i think about it i can see the hillside with women in dresses with Bustles,weary women in rags walking up the hill back to their families after market day,to their hut like houses in Wales,Some women who walked up the hill to their camp after the religious festivals at the Abbey....what the un-saved would call 'Pyschic Powers'...