What a day, what a week..WHAT a God!

"God is good, all the time"?....is He? i am looking up for thunderbolts! Wheres your proof" the unbeliever would say..., "this is your proof"we say...sigh...again Hoping "He"turns up this time Its the usual old lemon..of Course! ...and a valid question!..can i really prove a thing thats not visible,touchable hearable...or even tasteable!...but it is feelable...and not in the physical sense... "ah hah caught you!...says the unbeliever.. ..no..says I, (God really) can we see air,wind?says God, "no!...says the Holy Spirit!..of "course we can" says the Son....no (not really)...says the son.,,, its very naughty to tease says I...Sorry says the Son....Probably not a Good idea to Say that...Says the Father...that the Son is Naughty...... a near death experience...its old usual stuff for me says i many times its happened,He has Brought me through every one,will He do it again...only he knows... Watch this space!...but i WILL...see you next time!!

Who are you?.. who who who who?..and a shot of love..

Someone is reading this! (i dont mind obviously its a Public forum),so who are you? Welcome, and may God bless you mightily. My Life is good, i am starting to do some household stuff which are well over due! gardening is great this time of the year so gets me active,growing some beans,cornflowers and peas....up the walls! to keep away from snails and slugs, which dont like brick, as they have very soft bodies. Bens Auntie,a lovely person has been going to his activities with him, which is wonderful because i have a break, or rather we have a break from one another! We did the Wistanstow show and quite a few Bibles went out,praise the Lord, i also got to go to the Stafford Classic Bike Show this year too! first time in Four years... My Youngest Grandchild, Edith is growing up so fast, a real little person now with a personality! she is talking, only baby babble but shes going to be a talker! Shots of love from The Lord, such a healing encouraging, and loving God, thank you Father

Coronation Day, and two bank holidays!!

Its been a long weekend...the King was crowned,and even the anti monarchists had a Day off work! its like the Athiests who send and recieve Christmas presents, but Christmas was originally a Pagan Festival( the shortest day, here in Europe), Jesus was born in October, or september! We had a biker church nearby,about 20 miles,away and we did the Stafford show, which was good and another one at the end of May! It was nice to see some people who i havent seen for a few years.. Poor Suki had to go to the Vet because the puppy Coda decided to try to beat him up!...so as usual spending a fortune at the vet!

Giving myself a good talking to!

I wish i could remember if i was always a second guesser...or is it a result of the abusive people i have had themiss fortune to encounter! Some days i feel like "a strong confident woman" ( misquoting Lady Colin Campbell!).. sometimes i feel like the Ragosaurus cant be contained...and on those days i give everyone a wide birth.. or is it them giving me a wide birth?!!.. I was reading on here a few days ago a few posts i did just a day before i was prescribed Anxiety meds...and i didnt seem to be suffering any Anxiety that Day..puzzling..and when i blame the Abuser for my Panic Attack, and my Anxiety am i in Sin?...i think i might be! Either I have forgiven them or i havent,David Wilkerson said once we forgive a person, it should never be mentioned again...hard, very hard...I am denying the work of God in my life and in others life if i mention it again...in fact the only time i believe it should be even used is to help and encourage others in that situation i used to be in...in fact i am so far away from that , (that when Joe brought Emily back to meet me, and i took them to see Jon,i heard Jon say that Ruth wasnt very well, and couldnt come out to say hello)..but Joe was worried the next day, and said he could hear Ruth talking in the background..so why couldnt she stick her head around the door, or even wave through the Window?...the mind boggles! and it is shamefully easy for my mind to think the worst..

NOT "Ghosting" Part Two

I have decided to write this without doing any research,(in the Bible of course) which is the only place to get a sense of Gods Will on any subject! obviously i am not disrespecting the Holy Spirit,He teaches us through His word. So have i ghosted the person who has been Toxic and demanding in my life?...or is it just the last Straw..feeling like i have been treated very badly...not a pity party, just irritation with her behaviour..and knowing she wont change, even though she has Spirit filled believers around her,i know she goes to them to complain and get comfort and justification on her behaviour, as she doesnt seem to have a problem with untruth. In a voicemail yesterday,she went through everything about her texting me,ringing the house phone and having her call rejected...so i am not going to justify myself...the words toxic/controlling cover it all. Her Voice is very threatening,condescending, there is the implication of "do what i want or face the consquences",also the desire to have an argument, fight it out!! No sweetheart i have fought and won against bigger bullies than you!...Its not a fight if its one sided, that would be called BULLYING! I have to admit, i wasnt willing to engage by defying her, really I just wanted to slowly stop contact,but she wont 'allow' that..she wants a fight...not happening!!..i wasnt scared of her,just trying to be kind,i dont do confrontaion, nothing good comes out of it and it certainly is not gloryfying to God, and not a way i feel i should behave as a Believer...

Christmas Past.

Well here we are,Christmas morning,i dont celebrate it anymore,Jesus died in October, and the Ancient Christians in Britain decided to Put Jesus Birth just after the shortest day, which is the 22nd of December this Side of the World! So trying to wipe out the Pagan Religions! Of course,sitting here i am remembering,Christmas past,sneaking downstairs in the late Sixties,desperate to find the transistor Radio i had been promised,only to creep silently back to bed to find out i had picked up a book!,i cudnt tell under the wrapping paper! The Christmas i dont dwell on of course is 1978...in that same house, whem my brother died.i may have told that story on here. I remember the disembodied Voice which said once"this is the last Christmas you will spend in this house" at the top of the stairs...the Devil is a Liar...many years later i am still here,and the Enemy and his Minions are Not welcome in this house! It has taken much Prayer,but all the Weirdness the Enemy tried in this house has Stopped,not because of me But the Lord has done this.Glory to God,always always..Praise Him!

Ghosting

I have finally had enough of a person,who calls me her 'friend'...yes i could list her unpleasant character,and of course its hard not to remember the nasty things she has said directly to me...Its VERY hard, and i have to ask God for help...and i have to remenber something that happened about ten or fifteen years ago,where God has shown me that the enemy can literally 'drop thoughts'into my mind,i was in a good mood, just getting on with my life,cooking in the kitchen at home,no particular thoughts about anything,and nothing connected to her when i started to feel really angry about her...and not even any specific thing she had done!..just full on fury? Yet another wonderful lesson from the Holy Spirit! I hope He will show me some more instances like this,and the woman?..,i reply politely when she texts...i dont want to 'Ghost' her, its happened to me and the effect on me was devastating,even Mike said i had lost my Confidence...maybe one of the last people that i was able to trust..as a friend.She also had mental illness, like Mike, sometimes i thought the Lord wanted me to minister to people like that, as so many came across my path...until i was told by someone with a personality disorder who was in Prison, that i was regarded,classed "a vulnerable person" by the Authorities...which felt insulting...not as unsettling as when they recomended a team of fire wardens come to my house to fire proof it..,the person with the personality disorder was in Prison for setting fire to his council flat!! Did God bring them into my life or was it just because of Mike, being mentally ill, and coming across them in hospital?..do co-incidences happen? , maybe to the world i was a vulnerable person, in charge of kids,and making unwise choices about who i allowed in my home?..yes i was that! but seeing it in the light of maybe being the only person in their lives who would show them some Christian Love? that could be my delusion, i may have been looking down on them as i did with the person who calls me her friend? But i do want to examine my motives for keeping in contact with such an unpleasant person for almost 30 years,obviously having been in two serious relationships with Abusers,maybe i was just expecting people to behave badly...its really our hormones that betray us as Women,i always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt,as a lesson i learnt from my Mum,(who really did not like other women,i.e her bithcy criticism of women newreaders,) so i think this might explain it. The hatred thoughts that were "dropped" into my mind, were about her, so maybe subconciously it was coming out in another way?..Its taken me a long time to get used to the fact that God knows my very thoughts..so to think the Enemy is able to manipulate my thoughts that way? not nice at all,one other weird thing around her,she said a few things,which i later brought up in conversation,(nasty things others had said,which she had completely forgotten she had told me,her son had said his wife couldnt cope with her house, as she is a hoarder), and.. he got married and didnt invite her,although he is in her life..but strangely his wife hardly ever sees her...a clever girl,i wish i knew that at that age!!..its these type of things, that made her feel sorry for her,she is manipulative, and draws me back when i have had enough..i always kept in contact with her,now i dont,,so have just had one text, which i have repiled to non commitally,not engaging with her but talking about other things, just answering her questions... She is a toxic person,who seems to take revenge on those in her life, who she needs,her family have to put up with it,I dont and can walk away, i do feel guilty about being patronising to her, feeling it was my Christian duty to keep in contact,so why am i shocked how she behaved,and tried to take advantage of me even more? Thank you Lord for the lesson learned, sorry it took 30 years!