No response INFURIATING for Abusers!

Well here I am back on the blog after a week of trying to get back on, I was blaming google but as usual I think it was me! Of course I could use the excuse that I was not brought up with computers, like my kids, who had them at school...but it’s probably because I was impatient and didn’t read the instructions properly... I have been researching a statement by a man who sent threatening, sexual rape threats to his wife’s co worker...his most telling comment was that “I wanted to frighten her, and it was frustrating that she was not replying to the messages and I didn’t know how she was reacting to them” he said this to the Police,he was Angry because she had been in his words “not pulling her weight at work” .At the trial the court was told, she had collapsed at work, and then only had TWO days off work, before he started sending the threatening sexual text messages.

That was the year that was...Annus Horribilis

We just had our A.G.M, where is was elected Secretary again, Di the chairman gave her yearly report and said’ that was the year that was, and I never want to have one like it’... I feel the same,about C.M.A, and because of what Joe has been through...so when I saw I have only posted 6 times in the last year, I was not surprised...for a long time I couldn’t talk about anything personal because it was so upsetting...I felt that tears were just under the surface and not much would start them off...
So I guess that is why I was having chest pains, and I went to hospital, my heart is fine,they did all the tests,E.C.G and blood,I have spinal problems, and my whole rib cage has been hurting in different places for about two weeks so I will have to get that checked out...I am feeling much more positive yesterday and today,I KNOW that being close to God, praying and worshipping makes me feel better... but do I do it..NO! He forgives and is always there when I need Him, my whole being is wrapped up in Him, His ‘Rod and His staff do comfort me’i have been feeling Empty, before I knew He was always there, so I didn’t always go to Him when I had need,I felt I could do it myself, I had too many years of only having myself to depend on...but HE was always there, and has even shown me he was...When He was taking me through some of the worst memories of Abuse, so it could be dealt with, He showed me He was always there, with me and I was not there alone...He is there like that for us all, we are all His Children, I am nothing special..the Bible says ‘He is no respecter of persons’which I believe means we are all equal in His eyes, the Top Church guys are the same as the Homeless Man begging for Change..

A Trap for the Enemy,or the Enemies Trap?

I have been researching some of the Enemies devices recently...it started with finding out about local legends of the servants of the enemy,A mermaid at a pool a few miles away, a gnomes home under a Hill,I felt it was what the Lord wanted me to do,but thinking back it started with a peculiar hill at the edge of a field, which sometimes I drive past,it’s only very small,maybe30-40 feet high, and 20 feet wide,I don’t know if it’s solid rock, but maybe it must be because why hasn’t the owner flattened it? I can see it’s just a small mound, but it also looks, with ‘spiritual’ eyes like a sort of door way with turrets round,and battlements, very much like a miniature medieval castle..these images super impose themselves at the same time...and I get a warning just before we pass it every time...that it’s coming up, it’s strange because there is no where to stop near it,and the road is angled so I have to drive past quite fast, so are literally just getting one glimpse...just before we pass it I get a warning in my spirit that’s it’s coming up This is a new revelation to me, yes I can and have seen many things ‘in the spirit’but to be shown the hidden houses of the Enemy is a new puzzle to me,!
I know that he and his servants have rights over certain areas,that they have their designated areas,the Bible talks about an Angel being held back by a Prince of that territory...

Human nature being what it is...ain’t no mountain high enough, and the Drum and Monkey

My Dad had a diary, a black hard backed expensive looking book,inside he had written,"Private",and something like this is "my private Diary, please don't read it", i cant remember the exact words now, its nearly 50 years ago,but further on inside it said, but "Human nature being what it is,you are reading it"..i cant remember anything that was written down,i guess the things important to a nearly 40 year old man weren't really of much interest to a pre-teen!!.

The Diana Ross song i have put in the title, is something i cant speak about yet, without getting upset, just like seeing anything with kids on,and other stuff, which will always be painful until they come home, i get so upset i cant even type their names...i do know that God has said Joe will be a Dad to them, that they will come home,i even feel ashamed and that i am doubting God by even getting upset...but i hope He understands that pain...its so much worse to see my son in pain, than any other pain i have ever had from the bad stuff i have been through myself...but like Forrest Gump...i am not talking about that!!

Today is Jon's birthday, Ben and Joe's Dad, i reminds me when he insisted i drive out into the country, in cold and frosty weather, because it was his birthday, he wanted to go to a Country Pub,where some famous Musicians sometimes hung out...i had had a severe Asthma Attack just a few days before,may even have just come out of Hospital, i had three small children who depended on me,their Dad would not able to bring them up,So putting my life at risk would have been disaster-ous for them...So when i feel angry with Daisy..and unforgiving for putting my Grand children in Danger i should not be judging her...

Stalker

Ellie and Willow have been taken into care in Glasgow,so there is a good chance that Joe will be able to have them back, he’s got a solicitor,so it’s just a waiting game now...nothing goes fast in government departments in England....”red tape”! We are all feeing a great sense of relief, and something seems to have ‘ lifted’...
Things are awful in the Christian Motorcyclists Association inUk,there has been some bullying behaviour, by those who are high up,, and two people have been kicked out...it’s the Spirit of Jezebel,because those who were kicked out have started a ministry which people have been saved, and baptised, a reach out which is open every day...yet they were ‘shunned’ by someone, a woman, who was supposed to support them. So we have lost a brother and Sister, hopefully only for a short while, but we have people asking to join us all the time,we are the only Branch in uk that is growing, we gave out over 500,Bibles to Bikers, and 300 at the national memorial arboretum, I am not boasting it’s just a fact!
I haven’t had anymore trouble with the Ex stalker,except for some photos on Facebook..in which he looks annoyed all the time!
God is good, All the time

A Day In My Life

Today, day in my life,

6.30am

Woke up on the sofa,I slept downstairs because my room is such a mess because I went searching for a ring I dropped underneath it,I lifted up the mattress,found the ring,but couldn’t get the mattress down agin because the bed clothes, and some other clothes too, have got wedged behind, Joe is here today so he can help, and of course the longer I stay on blogger the longer I can delay doing it...my Mum used to say about me, that my motto was, put off til tomorrow which I can do today! Which is me of course...trouble is sometimes,(ALL the time things get put off too long)!
I set my alarm on for 3.am, to get Joe up for work, but I couldn’t be bothered to get up to wake him up, I felt guilty and kept waking up, then this morning I realised it’s his day off anyway and he didn’t need to get up at all!

7.am

Watched Voyager, which is on SCI FI, in between Craft daily, which I like to watch for tips in Quilting which I am interested in at the moment. Made some cheese toasties, which I really like, I remembered someone told me that if I have the buttered side on the outside it goes really crispy, which I love! Washed some clothes which had been in the washing machine for about a week, I left in there again, and washed again about four times...I put out some bird feeders as we have a pair of robins in the garden, and various other birds, who like my garden,because it’s organic, I have been shaking the breadboard out so the get the crumbs too, the male robin follows us when we are in the garden, especially Cody, Joes Husky,because he scratches up the ground.

12.pm

joe got up at 12, it is his day off,has gone for a driving lesson, Bens just got up,(at 1.15), had his weetabix and then started to get me to get his coke out of the car,he has just theee cans a day.

I have to stop now as Ben has to be appeased! He will be going in the shower soon as it’s his disco night,some local parents wanted to set it up as they wanted their disabled kids to have the experience of a nightclub.I am watching the old classic Coronation Street which is on every afternoon, it’s 1991 on it.

Facebook

I don’t really know what to say today, as usual things are up in the air as usual,things going on which I can’t talk about,something which would be great if it happens, but this has happened too many times in the past 9 months so say no more but watch this space! I missed the Branch Christmas meal on Monday, I felt ill, nauseous,but didn’t actaually vomit, but I felt I couldn’t take the chance of going and being sick! i have been off face book for nearly 6 weeks, for some strange reason it won’t download from out server, it’s ok if I don’t sign out, but if I do I can’t sign in again!so eventually signed in again from a marks and spencer free wi fi, so it means I am going to have to take my iPad, netbook and laptop out of the house to sign into Facebook on them, or wait til I go back to the caravan to do it, or try and find out why it’s not working