James and Emma's wedding,a true Royal wedding!

I am going to my first BKier wedding today, at the Church about an hour away in Warrington, most of the bike riders are escorting the Bride to the Church, from Stafford, where they live. Emma was telling me they met at a cross stitch club,and were friends for years before they got together.Its unusual to think that a six foot biker with long hair does cross stich, but he is not the only one in our Branch of the Chirstian Motorcyclists Association.I like doing so called male things, like putting up shelves I built a lean to, I went to college to learn how to do carpentry, and stopped using nails after that, they don't hold as well as screws! I am feeling a lot better now, for a few weeks there I was really struggling,Tash was diagnosed with post natal depression, Joe had been ill too , but both are better, and Joe is able to speak to Ellie and Willow regularly too now,Joe said the girls are missing their dog Cody, an Alaskan Malamute, who has been staying here since the kids went to Scotland.It is hard for me to go out because he has bonded to me and panics when I am not here, he reallyhols VERY loudly...so I am able to get out by taking him to Joes, but I had to take him to the Big Breakfast!!he stayed in the car and was fine, but I can't leave him in the car for very long now as the weather is getting warmer,hehas a very thick coat and even with the windows open it's too warm for him!! Huskies have a double coat, and obviously that is great in Alaska, and Siberia, but even in rainy England it gets too warm!
There is another Wedding going on today! But this is the TRUE royal wedding, as James and Emma are both the Son and Daughter of the King, in fact the King of Kings! Praise God.God is good, ALL THE TIME!

The Battle belongs to the Lord

Down but not out! I sent an email to the Branch members and said something like'we have all had a terrible time recently' and asking for people to pray,We were doing the helmet park at the Ride 4life at a local R.A.F museum,people do a ride from Shrewsbury to the museum, about 20 miles.it went very well and because our branch of the Christian Motorcyclists Asociation has recently had more than 10 new members come to join us, we were able to cover two events, the local motorbike show at Stafford, for two days and the Bike4life on Sunday, so we were split between two events on Sunday.
The new members have come from a very bad situation in another branch,two more are from the Salvation Army, and two new are the parents of a young man called James,who has a really lovely girlfriend called Emma, they are getting married at Biker Church in May,but it looked like it wasn't going to happen in February, because they had another accident on their Bike, which wasn't their fault, in fact James was still in plaster from his last accident,they are counting on the payout from the first accident, to buy a bungalow,but they may not get it because he was in plaster,only on his wrist,he has trouble walking up stairs now.
So we were down but NOT OUT,praise God, we gave out over 200 biker bibles over the weekend! God is good, ALL THE TIME.

Glory to God

It s been a long while since I have posted, and I really don't have anything to say anyway! It's been a very hard struggle this last month, but Joe is o.k, thank the Lord, glory to Him.His children have been taken to Glasgow against his wishes, so we are trying to get them back, lots of lies have been told about Joe, but I am not going to give the Enemy any glory by repeating them here,but I do know God is in control, and I hold onto the promises that the Lord gave me for Joe when he was baptised.I Know God is good, and He is in control! Praise Him

mothers day

It's been a very difficult 10days,it's Mother's Day today here in England,and a few hours ago in Church I felt like the worst sort of Mother, for various reasons,one being that two of my children don't want me as their Mother,but the worst thing is that I have been facing the darkest days of my 36years of being a Mother and Father to my children, the terror that my son is going to kill himself.
I was dreading the preacher talking about how wonderful Mothers are,I thought if he says that, I will burst into tears, or have to run out....but he didn't,the sound system was broken, so no overhead projection, or singing or music,just the strict Anglican communion service. Which restricting and formulaic as it is was strangely comforting.

Tom Cruise,Hitchcock, and Weinstein

Men,all men who have directly or indirectly ruined lives,because they felt entitled to their own way, And some to women's bodies,and people in their way were just dispensable and would pay the price of 'disobedience'
I don't watch Tome Cruise movies, I am sure he is a nice guy,a good father, maybe a great actor,but I just can't bring myself to watch any of his movies,all I can see when I watch him are the faces of the poor women who were forced to have abortions, because the babies would have been inconvenient for their 'destinies' in Scientology, the woman who cried recalling having being forced to to abort the baby her and her husband really wanted, the guilt is palpable, even with her subsequent children, she is still brokenhearted.
I don't watch Hitchcock films either,because of the way he ruined a young actresses career because she wouldn't sleep with him,his wife apologised to her, she said, you could do something about this, in not those exact words, but I think a man like that would not have allowed his wife to dictate his action at all,it's strange, there is such a double standard,it's well known about Hitchcock not allowing the actress to make films with anyone else, and not making any with her,but no one boycotts his films!! where are the radical feminists when he is described as a 'genius'!
Johny Depp was accused of domestic violence, which I have researched as much as I can,it was never admitted, or proven,it may be that his wife agreed to keep it private in order to get a good divorce settlement. I don't know if it's true or not,but I won't ever watch another of his films, I BELIEVE women,of course women lie everyone lies sometimes,,a very few make false rape allegations,but I know a decent human being is not going to accuse another person of such an awful crime, and then endure the consequential troll aftermath, without good reason.
A beautiful and talented well known Chef, called Nigella Lawson was photographed with her husband squeezing her neck,in public,it became a scandal, and she moved out,its terrible what we as women put up with in private,when it is shown to others, it's like a wake up call.It must have been so humiliating for her private life to be exposed like that,but she is just as successful as she was before,and her Ex-abuser then made the divorce proceedings as nasty and vile as he could, making all sorts of ridiculous accusations,which only made it worse for him,so everyone else could see the man she had lived with,she on the other hand,kept her cool and her dignity, I admired her, and was proud to be a survivor like her.

If someone tries to destroy you, they HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM, not you.

I am really trying not to keep dwelling on the cruelty of the past without talking about it in a positive way, and resolving it before the end of the post, or rather showing the positive change in me not taking those awful words to heart, on Facebook today someone shared a post which said, "if someone tries to destroy you, they have something wrong with them, NORMAL people don't try to utterly destroy others"
Which really sums up those of us who once loved an Abuser,a lot of women's sites call them narcissists, which is o.k too, but I don't think it is a good enough explanation, it sort of excuses them because they have a " mental condition",which mostly hasn't been diagnosed by a professional, and it doesn't say the most obvious thing which is that they are Violent

"you are so nice" he sneered.

I was in a shop, and said "thank you" to the assistant politely," you are so nice" Howard sneered at me, even me being polite was something to be despised..not the worst insult i have ever heard, of course but just so unnecessary, as are all the little jibes,little criticisms of my character,Why did this offend him,I didn't challenge his Narcissist"sense of self", or go against him in anyway,just a weakness he thought he saw in me, when being a good person, is seen as a weakness, as "soft" as marking ourselves vulnerable, open to being manipulated.
Why didn't i walk away then, he had shown his utter despising of me and my character,why didn't i remember when in a previous relationship with Jon that his opinion of me as such a terrible person, crazy,weak, despicable,woman meant he didn't love me,i am pretty innocent of how loving men treat the women they love, but i knew i loved my kids, i knew i could not say cruel words to them because i loved them and wanted the best for them in everything they did.If you love another person you are not cruel, so if you are cruel you DON'T love them.
Of course abusive violent narcissist's cant love,its impossible for them as is taking the blame for anything they do wrong!!