An inconvenient collection of cells, or planned and made by God?

I reluctantly tuned my digital t.v. into an 'old fashioned' radio channel,TWR, i was tuning it into have background noise, and God had to shout to get it into my thick head!!...Sigh!...i am sorry now,that i thought that, because God had planned to bless me through it! (i am quickly trying to get this down before i forget!) i was blessed by the guy talking, in a kind of 'word for the day"broadcast that, "You are exactly the right height for what God wants you to do", i may have bought into the worldly obsession with looks,and judging by first immpressions,and that we dont matter because we are all 'accidents'... its not really the "world" of course but straight from the very PIT OF HELL..sometimes recently i have felt like an old medieaval victim of Leprosy that had to go around with a sign saying Unclean, or women who had to carry round a "Red A'for Adulteress...because the way the world has been recently we have all looked at each other as sources of potential infection with the Virus. I know in my Mind that God planned and made me, and that he was there when the car i was in ages 3, fell off a Cliff,when molesters tried to abuse, and the times when they suceeded,i know God saved me, that he was the responsible Parent to me, and i have to repent of blaming my mother for some of this, and of course the 'world' would say yes 'she didnt protect you',so how do i 'honour' her then?' as the ten commandments say i should 'Honour my Mother', i am still working on that,and i will go into that further one day, as i dont want to get distracted from the main point of this! There is a big difference in believing with my concious mind that God planned me for every area in my life, to be a mother, and a Carer! its amazing,and i am so grateful that God is speaking through me everyday to help Ben grow as a Man, to use his voice, if only to me at the moment..But he has a voice,which people who should know better, his dr,have judged him as without understanding, because he chooses not to talk to people..