Well still feeling very good at the moment,To be honest i have not thought about him in the last few days, my life had been almost been at a standstill over the last few months,the in-justice of it all, the fact that he was able to do this with no repercussions, just infuriated me....I had hardly thought of this man for years,( apart from the few un-bid memories which surfaced,were quickly repented of and forgotten.) Maybe this was the Enemy's intention,along with my Mothers death,trying to push me into reacting, which almost worked, more than once!!!..
I am not that person who suffers the rest of my life because of some-one Else's Sin,I am NOT going to be a VICTIM forever, a close friend of Mine, Marion killed herself because she could not get past someones Else's Sin, by other Christians, and those close to her,she was stuck 'in a moment she cant get out of' to quote U2..
I told her many times that she was not the Product of others decisions, She could chose to let it go,was it unforgiveness? I don't think so, she had got to a point where she felt able to resume her life,after years of depression,but others were not willing to trust her.
I know any strength i have is not from me, God has given it to me, God gave me a message from Him for her that he could 'restore the years the locusts have eaten'.Why did she give up? she was a strong woman, really on fire for God at one point.
I have been on the point of Death at least six times,and fought to stay alive, why did she seek it,why was her life of so little value to her? When i faced death i had no children, and felt alone and unloved by any human being,she had a beautiful daughter...
Someone once told me that suicide was a selfish act, (i later heard that that persons mother had killed herself). I am not going to judge anyone else,but i have known severe depression,i have never contemplated suicide, but spent days wishing the pain would end, and if not for my responsibilities for others would not have got out of bed.
I know that God led me to the point that i was not going to let anothers Sin forever affect me,(do i believe that i am,....1. a 'useless', 2 ,'ugly,'3,'wothless','waste of space.', if the person who you love tells you this its hard not to believe..) or do i distance myself from their Sin, as 'theirs'.And forgive.Surely that's the KEY, forgiveness, do i forgive and let go, or believe
Lets face it who wants to forgive? ....NO ONE!!!, but as a christian we know it is what He wants us to do,as i have said before, two things the world treats lightly are Sexual Sin and Unforgiveness. But to God these are not taken lightly,and Forgiveness is one of the cornerstones of the Gospell.
No comments:
Post a Comment