The Stalking, violent, Abusive RAPISTS funeral today...

Well he is being said goodbye to today...i have been asked to share some photos..which i did..i do have mixed feelings about today...i know that the person who is being talked about today isnt actually the person i knew...and the only other person who knew or spent as much time with him as i did wont speak out about who he really was...so i am the one who is villified, called a liar...my children saw him beat me,and tried to pull him off me..she will be standing there today...crying over the man who they watched punch and tried to pull him off me...shame on you, shame shame...of course they have very selective memories...and cant seem to stand up for the truth...i wonder if they would stand up for their kids and tell the truth?.i actually feel really ashamed of themt...they actually grew in my body, loved by me,wanted by me,i protected them from the others who would hurt them,all have lied to me,stolen money and just treated me a someone to be used.no loyalty at all...i think i deserve better treatment,after all isnt this the basic belief of abusers,that those closest to you, who your heart sings for, if they treat you like piece of dog shit on their shoes, what are you really worth? Abuser 101!!I am not sure why abusers want us to believe we are worthless, but its probably because we then believe that they are all we deserve...ITS JUST AS WELL I DONT BELIEVE THEM!!! If it wasnt for the fact that i know God loves me, i couldnt go on, i know this may sound like a challenge for the Enemy of our Souls!!But God wont allow that! I dont think i am special... i am a filthy rotten sinner,the only identity i have is as a Daughter of the most High,all i want and need, the Enemy has done his work well, i dont deny that, he has discovered who i love most in this world,( because obviously i love God most in this universe), assisted by Vile evil humans with their own agendas of course... Of course i grieve, i wanted to be a part of my childrens lives, and their children, but the Enemy has succeeded in spoiling that...i wish in a way that i was a wonderful soldier of God, who had actually done something so good for God, brought many souls to Him, or other wonderful healing works...but no i am just an ordinary person....maybe i should have not just prayed for my Kids safety and salvation, but actually asked God to preserve my relationships with them?..The Covenant does not specify that...and the Enemy is a legalist, so i didnt protect that area in my life...stupidly i think because i never really thought my kids would be disloyal to me!! Oh dear..maybe i shouldnt have started this today, there is a school of thought that all emotions are best out in the open, they 'should be owned'....but those same people who dont listen when these experiences are Shared!!...another day of not saying his name...