More false friends..I give up I really do!

I have no idea what i am supposed to talk about today!..i have no strong issues which i want to talk about! yes its been a bad week in a lot of ways,but thats all going now, there a few niggles that i havent dealt with,the Lord has not shown me the answer, maybe because I havent even asked Him for help!! I loved Mike, for a long time he was a good friend,people say he had a heart of 'Gold'...i dont really see that because the Enemy used him to isolate me,by inviting Howard to Church,and to his house, which in the end made it very hard, to go to his house, i didnt stop going but it seemed that as they were all single men with a completely shocking attidude to women, all believers, but its a short step to blaming women in those age of men... Men my age think they can tell me off! Which they wouldnt do to men their age, its what used to be called male Chauvanism,any woman having an opinion is obviously a 'feminist'...(not just a free person using our God given rights!), maybe i am being unfair to them,probably Howard was saying nasty things about me...but Captain Awkward used to say that women are soon shunned from their friendship groups, even people who started as their friends when they split from abusive men.. Its sad,but i think that these people really are not worthy to be friends....and of course its dangerous when these abusers are left in the groups, with access to other women to abuse..and seen as trusted...its a disaster waiting to happen. I tried to still be friends, to keep my friends,but i knew they would never stand up for me, and believe me instead of the abusive rapist...my last conversation with Mike was sad, he was angry, he rang me to say that Fleetwood Mac was on t.v now ,ok we were watching a james bond film already,i didnt answer the phone and it went to answer phone, i rang him back a few days later, just to say thank you, and explain what we were doing,he was in a foul mood and i launched into my explanation, and he started to talk over me,i just kept talking,he didnt hear obviously, then said " i am not having a great time at the moment" and put the phone down on me!!!, he then left a voicemail a few days later saying everything all over again...it was hard to understand, and garbled and rambling...a few day later he died.. Andre rang and was 'fishing', he said 'Howard said he was Zannies dad" i laughed,and started to talk about something else,(about someone else caring for howard was getting paralytically drunk every week end, and was unreacheable when he got ill and needed a change of meds, his next of kin obviously) Andre is not a friend either...fishing for gossip, as if i would talk about my private family business with him!!. a person who only rings about every six months,after all if i could have trusted him and Mike not to be around the man who raped me,maybe i could call him a friend, they knew the truth...