finding freedom, the RAPIST IS DEAD...

Howard has Died,on the 11th of June, another 7 hours and he would have died on my birthday,i have no idea who was there when he went,its radio silence at the moment...but its nothing to do with me.I am not really sure how i feel,he was really nothing to do with me anymore...I do feel free, i have always been scared that he would kill me one day, freedom! Of course he has left his 'legacy',his lies and manipulation of everyone around me has been very difficult to cope with, but with Gods help i am able to forgive, i just wish in a way that i could forget,but the memories are there, Evil has not triumphed,and God willing it never will. I wonder how i went from happiliy Married,to what happened?..,of course Mark had cheated on me,I was groomed,by Howard, i accept that now,he took advantage of a less than wordly wise innocent person.I am unable to lie about him, i wont fluff over his bad treatment,the Rape, Violence,Verbal abuse, the stalking,and trying to turn my kids against me... I wont lie, i will keep telling the truth, and i know there are many others out there,Rebekah(Becky), Haley,and the girl who was really young who he lived with for a while, and many women on the 'lodge'(staying away for work), who he had sex with, usually against their will...He still remains mine and others Rapist, alive or Dead. My life is great, it was before the Rapist died, and it will carry on being now,God is Good ALL the time! Praise Him Well its a year today....i have stopped jumping when i see guys his build, that did take a long time,And they and they constantly looking out for him when I went out that took about six months, as well.and constantly looking out for him when I went out,that took about six months, as well. A lot of people I cared about died last year,Mike the mechanic, Darren who I have missed so much, you don't realise how people get into your lives, and into your soul and spirit, and of course the monster, years ago years ago I wrote a blog spot for carewrite, I was sitting on the settee near the front door and floats we're going past for a carnival and I was looking for a title for the post and the song that was playing on one of the floats was "what's that coming over the hill,is it a monster is it a monster" of course I had to use that! All I can remember last year is going out on the 11th with Tash and to celebrate my birthday which was the 12th of June which is the 12th of June still,! And I was so grateful he didn't die on my birthday and it's only struck me today that my birthday is always going to be associated with him so it seems like if you could've chosen a day to die it will be my birthday but he still lives with his memory I can have a birthday again without it being associated with him and All I can remember last year is going out on the 11th with Tash and to celebrate my birthday which was the 12th of June which is the 12th of June still,! And I was so grateful he didn't die on my birthday and it's only struck me today that my birthday is always going to be associated with him so it seems like if He could've chosen a day to die it would be my birthday! I can never have a birthday again without it being associated with him and miserable the miserable git. and as I hate to end on a miserable note note, I have a wonderful life I hardly ever think of him which may be a kind of revenge I don't know I'm not really interested in revenge I just wish the other women out there who went to anything could have justice, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation case has just ended, it's just a typical,usual case of of victim blaming, depressing very depressing.