Green Pastures

I am grateful today for the wonderful blessings that God has given me,its like that corny old song,'count your blessings one by one'!!God blesses everyone,... i donn't want to seem like i am saying God has blessed me, because there is something good about me or that i deserve it more than anyone else,there is nothing good about me, i am a wretched sinner, even now, after knowing God for so long!
I let Him down everyday, most people started their Walk with God actually thinking deep down that' I am not a bad person,'..(but ignore the bad i have done,) so of course expect to become an even better person further on in their walk,not like that at all,i started thinking i was good, and letting Him into a small part of my life,i now have Him in all parts of my life, and feel like a filthy rag in His presence!...
I have been praying every night for about two weeks asking Him not to let the Enemy give me bad dreams, (i cant remember where it was in the Bible), so last night i had a strange dream that i was naked in a car with the Ex, He was trying to get my attention,but we were in a huge grassy field, i was more interested in the Field!!! it seemed lke it was full of possibilities, i could turn it into a car Park,for all the houses which were around it in a rectangle,there was some sort of club going on,and people had parked on the grass, i hadn't known it was mine,when i knew i told someone that i would keep just a small square as a garden,but it was all mine!!.., i only had to claim it,take my own!!!! As ususal being me, i thought how it would bless others,!!..but then thought of it covered with tarmac,cars going in and out ruining it! Then i thought i'll give away a small part,so others can be blessed,but i really wanted to keep it all as it was,beautiful and green, an Oasis in the world.!!
I can think of a few obvious things it could mean, and had already decided it was about the Ex, and how he has no effect on me anymore,!!. (i was soon distracted from him when something better came along,in fact from the only part of the relationship which was good, which drew me to him in the first place!....), but having thought about the whole dream, there is more to it than that! I think He might be saying to me not to give away my Power, not to give my Inheritance away!!!