So many families..

It has been an upsetting few days here in England,with the attacks in London, a Policeman died,a young mum on her way to pick up her children from school,a Man on holiday to celebrate his 25th wedding anniversary from Utah,all families,and the man who did it, a British Man, not young, and radicalized but in his 50's...but he was a family man too, with a child...it does not make sense...

4.am

Its 4.am,and i am not tired, its one of the those phase's i go through once or twice a year where i am just unable to sleep,Ben is coming out of his winter phase of,sleeping until 6.pm, and i am doing the opposite!! My bowel habits have changed too...which is pretty unusual for me,i seem to have lost my sweet tooth, and some of my appetite, which is giving me constipation, and yet i am eating plenty of veg, at least five a day!!.
I am most creative during the insomnia episodes,i do the best writing,my mind doesn't shut down until i am utterly exhausted, i have just been to bed and started to drop off, so put down my Jeeves omnibus, lay down waiting to go to sleep,and... nothing!!
I have found sometimes praying 'in tongues' is helpful, because if the enemy is stopping my sleeping, strangely he would rather let me sleep! i have been reading lot of Captain Awkward's advice on friendship boundaries,so i have spent a long time, up to four hours a day on the laptop, maybe that's not helping me sleep!
I have also done a lot of reading back in this blog about the way i have been treated by so called friends, and tried to make some sense of it..Probably because my life is changing to a degree,i.e Mike and Andre,and new friendships.
One conclusion i have come to is that people are 'sent in' by the enemy when things are going well, with friends, in my life, it sounds a crazy self absorbed statement!! which it is, but i am Sure that God wants me to use my Mind, to avoid the Enemy's traps in future!
I was part of a powerful prayer walking group, we prayer walked round town everyday, for about three weeks,then a Woman called Evelyn came in and it was the end...people who i had known and trusted for years excluded me by critising my home,i had five children, between 6 and 16, bringing them up on my own, and the only critisim was, "she doesn't put the mop bucket away,from one week to another" what is interesting was that the Enemy used the relationship which had previously been very supportive,and it became abusive!!.. not just mop buckets,my 'friends' were encouraged to fade me out!!
So the Enemy was using the old techniques which had worked so well on me before!i.e critisim, and divide and conquer.In that group i grew so much and learned so much from the older ladies,about the Bible and the Lord,(more from Frances and Elizabeth and Coralee,less from Pat and Dot, who were more controlling, and would talk and bitch about the other women,they really didn't like them, and would find fault with them all,behind their backs, and i was just the silent, quiet and gentle person they recruited because the Lord gave me a Spiritual Sword,and i could hear His Voice,and was and am a Seer.
(Which just means that sometimes i see the world in layers,of time,i.e,my house is on a hill outside a town, over a river by a bridge, but i have seen the Hillside, green and a Druid human sacrifice in the place where my front room is...)
If i think about it i can see the hillside with women in dresses with Bustles,weary women in rags walking up the hill back to their families after market day,to their hut like houses in Wales,Some women who walked up the hill to their camp after the religious festivals at the Abbey....what the un-saved would call 'Pyschic Powers'...

Come to me all ye who are heavy Laden and I will give you rest

Life is good very good! i have hopefully sorted out the Trike 'problem',which means i have no reason to contact any of my old "friends", they can get on with their lives and I can do the things the Lord has for me to do, He has taught me, a valuable lesson, that i can just rely on him and i don't need to have someone to go places with, i can go on my own,because i am NEVER alone, He is always with me! I even went to Birmingham at 7.am,on my own, and watched the wonderful sunrise when we did the International Show.
Of course the Enemy still has 'a go'at me tries to pull me down as he does with all those who believe,but today is a good day, I am aware that i am shielded from the things He doesn't want me to do,twice now despite my unease that i shouldn't go in a certain direction,He has given me circumstances where i couldn't do it anyway! praise Him.
Of course i am disappointed in those old 'friends',and my daughter,that they couldn't be better people, that my feelings weren't important enough for them to give up being friends with my Ex abusers, but i am seeing that really i haven't lost anything by because they weren't real friends anyway,and like all abusive people,they cant actually love or respect anyone,no one matters but them,others are just there to use!
Freedom is wonderful!! , God REALLY keeps His promises when He says"come to me all ye who are heavy laden and I will give you rest"

Three saved from the Pit!! Party in Heaven!!

God is good! Praise Him,Brian was able to give a Dutchman a Biker Bible two years ago at the local Bikers church service we have a a local Biker Cafe,he put the Bible away and went back home, he was on holiday,he found it again recently and through it came to the Lord, he contacted the Pastor of the biker Church and told him, so even with all the Pain that is going on for Brian and Helen at the moment God still gives us fruit!Praise Him! It is significant that both Brian and Helen have brought people to the Lord,a woman called Carole were brought to the Lord by Helen and Clare,and with a guy who had a Bible at the Bike show we do in April and October, in Stafford, he came to the Lord too! I suppose the Enemy is mad, because that is three people who wont be spending Eternity with him in Hell.
It is so so so encouraging!!Praise God

No.No No

Yet another fight with the Vet yesterday because he wants to put Nipper down muttering about "his quality of life", this is just so typical, he has had his leg problems for two years,and his quality of life is just the same as it always was in the those two years...of course he did have a young student with him so he was a bit more pushy...
Ben is still on his medicine,only half a dose because he wont take it in the daytime,he generally seems happier in himself... but he wont go to any of the many activities available...i have let it slide for a while but will pray for Help to get him involved..Joe and Daisy are having some housing difficulties,and have asked Mark if they could move into his house,which is in town so more convenient.

more chinks

Its been a while since i posted,and despite me asking every one not to mention the ones who have cut me out of their lives,its come up from unexpected places!! i should have expected this of course the Enemy is like a prowling Lion,always looking for sin in our lives or chinks in the armour, but God is Good, and always comforts and Protects us,i have found this so true today,i have been feeling restless and He has been giving me "shots" of His love,like waves of Love spreading all over me, i have had this experience when i have been doing bible studies, recently but because i haven't done this for a few days now i wasn't expecting or deserving of any of this!!
So i started panicking, because its the same feeling i have when i have fasted all day,(hyper sensitive,all my 'spidey senses' in overdrive), and thinking that He was sending His love into me because something bad was going to happen,most of all, with Helen who has taken another downturn in her motor neuron disease, she cant have any food through her mouth now, and had some bad choking.So I am feeling very emotional, feel like crying for no reason.
I have prayed, repented of anything which could have caused this, and i felt something leave so am feeling better now, Praise God!