CONVICTION

I was reading on facebook about a Pastor, or Head of a christian college in the U.S who was caught in adultery, i didn't pay much attention to it, so really don't know all the details to it,THEN i did my daily Bible reading and it was talking about the woman who was caught in Adultery, so of course the Lord is really trying to get my attention about something...!! Of course i know it is about the Brother who was talking 'dirty'near me!!...Jesus says that even looking at a woman lustfully is committing adultery with her in a mans mind,so what does talking dirty mean?..i know that what comes out of us is what pollutes us,(our mouths ,i think it says that somewhere in the new testament),so in a way i caught this brother out in Sin,Jesus says He does not Judge,He told the Woman not to Sin any more...I am judging, I was offended, and I thought I deserved to be treated with respect..Its all very humbling,i don't deserve anything,but Hell, i am a filthy rotten sinner,i deny Jesus, everyday have hateful thoughts about others who have done me wrong and am not forgiving them,( to the point when God even intervened in my thoughts, i had been thinking some bad things about Howard, how stupid he was! and a deep Mans voice said "Don't you think i can make him into the man you need him to be?) I was alone in the house...but do you know even after that VERY humbling experience, i STILL have bitter thoughts about Howard...sometimes even those very same ones!! So i have'nt learnt ANYTHING, how can i judge anyone?...

a joyful noise?..

The Lord has been convicting me about the Brother who offended me...so i am going to have to carry on relying on Him to get me through this time, and just try to do His will throughout it all..it was Ellies first birthday yesterday,i took them out for a meal and a playtime for Ellies at a play barn which she loves! I cant remember if i have mentioned it but i have joined a Gospel choir,i love to sing!! i dont know if i can sing at all, but i do make a joyful noise!!

"those kind of people"

We had a wonderful day at Mikes party, he seemed to really enjoy himself, and everyone who said they would come did, every time i went into the kitchen to wash up it had all been done! years ago in the 1970's someone i knew got married and they had the after wedding party in the guys home,(which doesn't happen now as large hotels who cater are the norm), the Mum of the groom was so amazed as the believers, were cleaning up and doing all the dishes, she was amazed at the kindness, she said they were "those kind of people"..
I met Andre's new wife,Josetta, a lovely lady, weirdly i fell as if i have always known her, there must be some spiritual explanation for this??,at last i am able to get into this blog and write posts, i have been locked out for weeks, i don't really know why, i have to enter Howard's name and it takes me to it, if i wasn't a very nice person i could say that this is the only good thing he is ever done for me....nasty but true, at the moment i am starting to feel as if i dwell and talk too much about the unpleasant things in life, maybe that i talk to others about bad things? i am not sure...i don't know!!
Its very warm at the moment i am living in shorts and vests... it wont last long so i am trying to get out in the sun as much as possible,i know there are some vitamins you can only get from sunlight, some are the ones that help with mood and sleep.
I have got used to the whole thing of not sleeping in my old pattern which used to be up at 6, bed at 10 p.m.,i just go with the flow now!,last week i was up at 8.30 am sometimes!.. very unusual for me!, but i have to get into a different pattern with Ben, who is definitely not a Lark like me!i know this is with the Lords help,it was hard adjusting,it has taken years, but now its just one less stress in my life, which the enemy cant use! I have joined a Gospel choir, it great fun and seems to help my breathing.

Being laughed at?, BEING LAUGHED AT...you must be joking!...

Something i have just remembered i wanted to share!,somewhere i read that men and women were asked what scared them most in life, and i think the women said Rape and murder, but Men said being LAUGHED at..its an amazing difference!! my immediate reaction was that men are just selfish shallow creatures!!, but if course when i really think about that its not true, i do feel sorry for the fact that Men have such fragile egos,that they can be so easily crushed...to me its annoying to be laughed at,but it does not destroy me or my self confidence!!,(last week every night for about three days as we took the dogs for a walk up the main road, we had lads in souped up cars beeping their horns at me..one even barked!! ),nasty, but definitely not my greatest fear!! (its stopped now,i spent a few days praying while i went, and now its turned back into a nice peaceful experience!!)..i really am having trouble getting my head round this, its just unbelievable really!! I am lost for words...

let in again.

I have been able to get to the blog, i have been trying for a few days now!! i don't know when i will be able to access it again!i will keep trying!!

able to post again!

What is it about August that Google hates?!!, a few years ago in august i couldn't post either, i have repeatedly tried to sign into blogger to no avail ah me!!.. All the things i was planning to post as soon as i got back on?...cant remember a single one now..its Mikes birthday party on Sunday,Helen's mum died on Sunday and while i know it is sad she was an old lady who had known the Lord for a very long time,i heard about another woman Sarah who died on the 31st of July,but that was really sad because she was only 49, and had some very young children, her and her husband ran a wonderful christian meeting called garage Praise, literally in a Garage where the rest of the week they fix cars!i never met Alma, Helen's mum, and i only met Sarah just about two weeks before she died, and i only met Dot once but i did share what God had done for me(,her husband Trevor is a friend of mikes and Brian's,who made a commitment to the lord last year,she has some sin in her life, which Trevor had forgiven, but she couldn't forgive herself, and when i heard Di say the other day that she had killed herself i was about to correct her, but then she said she refused to eat..so she really did commit suicide.. its a sad time.I saw Alma with one foot in this world and one in Glory,she so wanted to be in Glory with her saviour, now shes there, she made it home,i understand why the early church had a party when one of them went home!!