I have just been thinking about how i try to micromanage others,i feel i have to be responsible, that people need my help,but really i think they cant manage without me!!, then i started to think that if things go wrong after i haven't helped others that its my fault, and it made me remember being with abusers who blamed some lack in me, for their actions,or any of their behaviour! ( my Mum too ,when i made a mistake would always find fault in me,what "had i done wrong?", when i was followed by a predator as a child and the Police came to my house to interview me,she wasn't proud i reported it,she just got angry that i would have to stand up in court and be disbelieved...misplaced worry for me?..,when i took my children to a local beauty spot and encountered a flasher,she said I was wrong for being there alone, without a man to protect me!!....)
My sister wants to make my Mum out to be a flawless saint who never did any wrong!! She did to me!!, she was an ordinary woman who made mistakes! she even admitted it and said she was sorry for the way i was treated! Goodness knows how hard it is to be a Parent!!, i do and i am very glad the Lord gave me the mother He did, with all her flaws!!, its a shame my Sister has no forgiveness and want to keep on fighting my Mums battles, she has gone, and SHE forgave, why cant she....and that they want to hold my Dads previous faults against him, and carry on the bitterness and un-forgiveness into yet another Generation, sad, sad ,sad..Mum would not have wanted that for Any of those she loved.So i am finished with Micro managing!!with the Lords help anyway!!
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