Annie's song..in the bleak mid winter Christmas 2014

It's Christmas day, 2014, 11.15pm and I am watching "top of the pops" from 1978,and I just realized that this was broadcast on the day that my brother died, aged 17 on Christmas day...bit of a shock and then I felt really guilty because I had been enjoying it,and haven't actually been thinking about him all day, I think I had made a joke about it being the worst Christmas since 1978...yesterday when I was talking to Mike about how much I don't like Christmas,he had been feeling down, and finally told me yesterday it was because of Christmas....I don't really think about the day much, but did do a piece for the carewrite blog a few years ago,with it being my Mums birthday on the 23rd, and that was the day he went into hospital,I stood at the gate while he went in the ambulance, alone I don't know where everyone else were, maybe my Mum was in the ambulance with him,my Dad had left,and was living in Walsall, my mum later told me he had been conceived on her birthday...i think I had to stay home and look after Nicky, who was 12,Mike had opened his present from my Dad, an antique chess set, and had a coughing fit.. , he wasn't able to get out of bed at that point, and hadn't for a few days, he was playing his guitar, a lot then,when he had the energy to do it...He had an appointment at the Brompton heart hospital in London.Years later my cousin Darren wrote a poem called "my cousin was dying" which was published in His anthology, and how he had felt resentful of the attention he got.. "top of the pops" has just ended with John Denvers "Annie's song" which was played at Mikes funeral, and yesterday I sang the carol "in the bleak midwinter" which was at his funeral as well....