Re-writing History,Hearsay, and Forgiveness!! 'tidings of bitterness and lies, bitterness and lies'

Yesterday was the 23rd December,the day in 1978 that my brother was taken into hospital,my Mums birthday,also the day Mike was conceived, she told me!! she was 45,Mike was suffering from a heart condition,Primary Pulmonory Hypertension,he died on Christmas day,just two days later, at 17 it was cruel to lose him so young,Dad had brought him an Antique Chess set, and just opening it early had sent him into a fit of coughing.....so now 35 years later,My Mum has died,Mike has Died,my Dad lives far away and is 80 himself soon,and i have Five very healthy children,God is good all the time,He gets us through. all the time, i am not going to let some lies told about my family upset me this year, i know that the ones who are gone would agree with me,Mike loved Christmas,He loved my Mum and Dad, My Mum loved my Dad till the Day she died, and i wont let anyone I love be airbrushed out of History!!, i was there i saw it,i didn't get it secondhand!..
Its very un-Christ like of me i know,but there are very un-pleasant relations of mine i would like to air-brush out!! (well only one actually)...Why cant they let go and forgive? Life is too short!!
Unfortunately, we can choose out friends,but not our family!,and those that chose to live their lives full of bitterness and un-forgiveness,are very sad, life is to be lived now!,My Mum forgave, she did not let a bitter divorce ruin the rest of her life,she had better things to do,she knew how important forgiveness is,just as those who have to forgive their husbands infidelity FORGIVE to keep the family together!..so many things are more important than nursing bitterness and anger for our whole lives! Especially when it is on someone else's behalf,only hearing one side of the argument,and not actually having been there, and lived through it..... so the Bombastic bullies live on to ride another day and try to re-write History....so sad,a Judge in a court would not take 3rd party Hearsay as truth, neither should anyone else! even the ones my Dad calls the 'Wicked Witch of the west'..Happy and Blessed Christmas to everyone out there!

HIS VOICE

I have been thinking about the time when God spoke to me,in a deep mans voice, which seemed to come out of my Body, my stomach,i was alone in the house and had been thinking some bad thoughts about my Ex husband Howard, i had been thinking how thick, stupid he was, that's when this deep Mans voice spoke, and said 'Don't you think I can make him into the man you need him to be' this was about ten years ago,i didn't affect me greatly at the time,except I tried to stop thinking bad thoughts about him, for a while anyway!
I do still talk about him to my daughter Tash, because she doesn't like him much,none of my kids do, even Zannie who has him round her house,her husband Andy made a big fuss when i first objected to it, and said it was not up to me to say who they could have round their house.Loyalty to me none existent..which in effect means i can't go to my daughters house when ever i want to.i also can't go to Mikes house or the church i was going to for 15 years, this man Howard is obviously a stalker, and one of the things they are well known for doing is to involve the family and friends of the one they seek to control, to get information from, and also seek to break down all the victims support group,he has failed!
But i am getting away from the main thing i wanted to ponder, about the Audible voice of God,i am not boasting about the fact that He chose to speak to me, i was humbled, and He was rebuking me for sinning!i don't really know why i am dwelling on this now,is it because i now know He knows all out thoughts?...Is it because of the so called 'Supernatural' thing, that a disembodied voices spoke. i cant even remember my reaction to this,why now after all this time has it come back? am i supposed to learn something from this now? but i don't know what!

Testimony, part three.

I kept going to that Church for a few years, was Baptized in the River in August, it was still cold! but low because it had been a hot summer.I never really felt accepted in the Church, it was not in an old church building,just a meeting in an old town building,the Pastor had never been to Bible college or ordained by any religious Organization, but were real born-again believers, with a wonderful musical ministry,i felt most comfortable in Biker clothes, and all the other Women wore frilly, flowery stepford wife type dresses!!...that's fine for them, but God has not made me like that!!...I was a problem to them because i was divorced, they almost worshiped marriage,and when i go married again, despite advice not too,and Howard started to hit me they told me that it was sinful not to obey my husband and emotionally blackmailed me into staying with a violent man, i have struggled for a long time to forgive them, i felt my life was worthless to them, because he could have easily killed me.. So on very painful night after i made him leave,the Lord took me through every incident of abuse,i was that sexually molested 4 year old again, that scared and cowering 12 year old, trying to protect my brother and sister as my parents tried to kill each other, that up 15yr old beaten by my father,that Raped 27 yr old, and beaten wife twice!He showed me He was there with me i was never alone,He asked me to forgive these men,not to let the 'off the hook' as i thought, but to stop the affects of their choices, affecting my life, God is so good,He takes the 'foolish things of the world (me) to confound the wise' Doctors Counsellor's, Pyschiatrist's, Pyschologist's, none of these wise wordly people can heal the affects of abuse, only God!If you don't know Him turn to Him now, it will be the best, the best, thing you will every do! just say you are sorry for the bad stuff you have done, imagine your heart has a little door, open it for Him, ask Him to come into Your Heart and life, do it today don't go another Minute with out Him in your life, its the best advice i can give you, He is the best Gift you will ever receive, God bless you.

Criminals,forgiveness and His perfect world.

Today i have joined some domestic abuse pages on facebook,it is really hard to read them sometimes, and i am not sure if it is a good thing to do because my life has moved on, and sometimes it can leave me feeling troubled, a lovely lady called Terry Loving,(very apt name), runs a site called the Spiritual side of domestic violence, and i know it can take its toll on her, she is really helping people out there who may not have told anyone about their hellish home-life,i try to encourage her, and in my own small way encourage others who are suffering too,mostly i tell them what Jesus has done for me,by setting me free from un-forgiveness, and therefore not allowing the Criminals to keep on affecting my life,I am free,i will have to finish my testimony sometime.
Its all glory to God,while watching a young 20 yr old's You tubes video about her sexual abuse, by her step father, i was troubled when she said "God had allowed me to go through it for a reason", i don't think God allow's these crimes to happen, its not a learning experience, she had felt angry with God, and justifyingly so if that's her Mindset.
I believe that God does know when every piece of abuse happens,He took me through every incidence of abuse on very Painful night and showed me He was there, and asked me to forgive the criminals who tried to victimise me, they CHOSE IT, God DID NOT plan this world to be like this, so full of abusers, rapists, murderers etc, He planned a world where nothing bad happens,but He gave us a choice to Love Him freely,we, (Adam and Eve)chose to use their free will to disobey God, and the world we live in now is the result. God never allows bad things to happen to us,He never Punishes us,we step out of His protection, and we live in a fallen Evil world, BUT THIS WILL NOT LAST FOR EVER,JESUS IS COMING BACK, AND WE WILL HAVE A PERFECT WORLD.

I am sitting in a warm house,I AM SITTING IN A WARM HOUSE!!after 28 years (today) of living in this house i am warm!Ben started shouting at me when i kept kissing the boiler...idol worship..The new central heating was finally turned on yesterday, made me late to pick up people to go to Biker church and we got there late, and got lost..but I AM WARM...Mike has decided to come to the christian motorcyclist association meeting tonight,after telling me a few weeks ago that he would never come again.So life is good....and SO SO SO WARM!.....