I have decided that Friday nights are going to be my nights, i have given up too easily the only time i have away from Ben,( one where i can do what i want, he is at his Grandpa's house on Sunday for an hour and a half, but i cant go to the Gym then) why do i give up my free time to others? Mike does not put me first!.. i am the Mug!...all the time i have given away!.....as usual i expect people to treat me the way i treat them.
I have been going to Mikes for years on a Friday Night, and yet when the Ex turned up again Mike said when i asked whether me and Darren could come round on Friday he said ' well Howard (Ex) sometimes pops in on a Friday,for a sandwich.....'( he told me later cos it would be embarrassing to have us both there, despite saying ' my dearest wish is to have you and Howard in the same room, worshiping together'......)
As i have said before he has chosen the Ex, and has no loyalty to me,why have i bothered all these years,it was the same with Avril, who was a close friend from years ago, i made one mistake and never saw her again! i took her on holiday,had her round every week, but most of all i really trusted her,and cared about her,and was really hurt when she just abandoned me, it took me years to get over that,i lost my confidence, did not go out to socialise(,i had run Meetings in my house, and yet when Andrew had us take turns running his meetings, even Mike noticed and said i had not got the same confidence) ....People Let us down, God never does. Praise Him!
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