Two or three gathered together, He is there

So what does the phrase mean 'church is not a spectator sport'? In the book its from it talks about how people hunger for more of God, for deeper fellowship, with each other and God, how we all seek out 'families to be part of,How He puts us in families, He made us that way,So is sitting back and just observing His plan for us?
Some one i know was really convicted about this, and his solution to this?..having different people run the meeting, which worked for a while, but of course it did not last, people were too used to being told what to do and the man running it did not really want to give up control....!
So how do we deal with the Hunger for more of God and close Fellowship,maybe we should examine what we don't want church to be...sometimes taking away all restrictions result in chaos,everyone doing their own thing,the louder ones dominating, quieter one still as silent, but still no real effective fellowship, so still the Hunger and Yearning, some people are happy with that because they don't want any closer contact than that, but what of those that do? What answer for them?
Do the Un-satisfied stay where they feel alone,despairing of change and give up their Zeal.Or leave disillusioned and bitter?
I was in a church where everyone was scared to share their deepest feelings, where outside friends were frowned on, even extended  families discouraged. (presumably the commandment to honour parents, even if they disagreed with the 'church', was flexible!).I was saved into this body of believers (they even called themselves the 'Body' of Christ.)!!!..So it took along time for me to feel freedom in Christ,and to come out of that system of control.
The Bible says ' even a child shall lead them,how could this happen when Kids are shut away from the main meeting? I speak from experience that Kids learn the most important things 'at their mother knee'.
So where is the happy medium? freedom from man's control, and freedom in Christ?
The early church used to meet in homes,and the Bibles says 'one would bring a word, another a Psalm', so everyone would share,  one person did not speak all the time.When i have had house meetings my self or been to them, i feel i can trust those with my struggles,share with them, encourage them in their troubles, tell how we learned to walk closer to God...'By the blood of the Lamb, AND the word of our testimony.The Bible does not say 'go to church and lose your Zeal, be bored through a Sermon' (NEVER mentioned in the Word) But it does say ' do not neglect the gathering together'
Church is not a Spectator sport, its FAMILY