My Dad had a diary, a black hard backed expensive looking book,inside he had written,"Private",and something like this is "my private Diary, please don't read it", i cant remember the exact words now, its nearly 50 years ago,but further on inside it said, but "Human nature being what it is,you are reading it"..i cant remember anything that was written down,i guess the things important to a nearly 40 year old man weren't really of much interest to a pre-teen!!.
The Diana Ross song i have put in the title, is something i cant speak about yet, without getting upset, just like seeing anything with kids on,and other stuff, which will always be painful until they come home, i get so upset i cant even type their names...i do know that God has said Joe will be a Dad to them, that they will come home,i even feel ashamed and that i am doubting God by even getting upset...but i hope He understands that pain...its so much worse to see my son in pain, than any other pain i have ever had from the bad stuff i have been through myself...but like Forrest Gump...i am not talking about that!!
Today is Jon's birthday, Ben and Joe's Dad, i reminds me when he insisted i drive out into the country, in cold and frosty weather, because it was his birthday, he wanted to go to a Country Pub,where some famous Musicians sometimes hung out...i had had a severe Asthma Attack just a few days before,may even have just come out of Hospital, i had three small children who depended on me,their Dad would not able to bring them up,So putting my life at risk would have been disaster-ous for them...So when i feel angry with Daisy..and unforgiving for putting my Grand children in Danger i should not be judging her...
Sunday, 24 February 2019
Sunday, 10 February 2019
Stalker
Ellie and Willow have been taken into care in Glasgow,so there is a good chance that Joe will be able to have them back, he’s got a solicitor,so it’s just a waiting game now...nothing goes fast in government departments in England....”red tape”! We are all feeing a great sense of relief, and something seems to have ‘ lifted’...
Things are awful in the Christian Motorcyclists Association inUk,there has been some bullying behaviour, by those who are high up,, and two people have been kicked out...it’s the Spirit of Jezebel,because those who were kicked out have started a ministry which people have been saved, and baptised, a reach out which is open every day...yet they were ‘shunned’ by someone, a woman, who was supposed to support them. So we have lost a brother and Sister, hopefully only for a short while, but we have people asking to join us all the time,we are the only Branch in uk that is growing, we gave out over 500,Bibles to Bikers, and 300 at the national memorial arboretum, I am not boasting it’s just a fact!
I haven’t had anymore trouble with the Ex stalker,except for some photos on Facebook..in which he looks annoyed all the time!
God is good, All the time
Things are awful in the Christian Motorcyclists Association inUk,there has been some bullying behaviour, by those who are high up,, and two people have been kicked out...it’s the Spirit of Jezebel,because those who were kicked out have started a ministry which people have been saved, and baptised, a reach out which is open every day...yet they were ‘shunned’ by someone, a woman, who was supposed to support them. So we have lost a brother and Sister, hopefully only for a short while, but we have people asking to join us all the time,we are the only Branch in uk that is growing, we gave out over 500,Bibles to Bikers, and 300 at the national memorial arboretum, I am not boasting it’s just a fact!
I haven’t had anymore trouble with the Ex stalker,except for some photos on Facebook..in which he looks annoyed all the time!
God is good, All the time
Wednesday, 19 December 2018
A Day In My Life
Today, day in my life,
6.30am
Woke up on the sofa,I slept downstairs because my room is such a mess because I went searching for a ring I dropped underneath it,I lifted up the mattress,found the ring,but couldn’t get the mattress down agin because the bed clothes, and some other clothes too, have got wedged behind, Joe is here today so he can help, and of course the longer I stay on blogger the longer I can delay doing it...my Mum used to say about me, that my motto was, put off til tomorrow which I can do today! Which is me of course...trouble is sometimes,(ALL the time things get put off too long)!
I set my alarm on for 3.am, to get Joe up for work, but I couldn’t be bothered to get up to wake him up, I felt guilty and kept waking up, then this morning I realised it’s his day off anyway and he didn’t need to get up at all!
7.am
Watched Voyager, which is on SCI FI, in between Craft daily, which I like to watch for tips in Quilting which I am interested in at the moment. Made some cheese toasties, which I really like, I remembered someone told me that if I have the buttered side on the outside it goes really crispy, which I love! Washed some clothes which had been in the washing machine for about a week, I left in there again, and washed again about four times...I put out some bird feeders as we have a pair of robins in the garden, and various other birds, who like my garden,because it’s organic, I have been shaking the breadboard out so the get the crumbs too, the male robin follows us when we are in the garden, especially Cody, Joes Husky,because he scratches up the ground.
12.pm
joe got up at 12, it is his day off,has gone for a driving lesson, Bens just got up,(at 1.15), had his weetabix and then started to get me to get his coke out of the car,he has just theee cans a day.
I have to stop now as Ben has to be appeased! He will be going in the shower soon as it’s his disco night,some local parents wanted to set it up as they wanted their disabled kids to have the experience of a nightclub.I am watching the old classic Coronation Street which is on every afternoon, it’s 1991 on it.
6.30am
Woke up on the sofa,I slept downstairs because my room is such a mess because I went searching for a ring I dropped underneath it,I lifted up the mattress,found the ring,but couldn’t get the mattress down agin because the bed clothes, and some other clothes too, have got wedged behind, Joe is here today so he can help, and of course the longer I stay on blogger the longer I can delay doing it...my Mum used to say about me, that my motto was, put off til tomorrow which I can do today! Which is me of course...trouble is sometimes,(ALL the time things get put off too long)!
I set my alarm on for 3.am, to get Joe up for work, but I couldn’t be bothered to get up to wake him up, I felt guilty and kept waking up, then this morning I realised it’s his day off anyway and he didn’t need to get up at all!
7.am
Watched Voyager, which is on SCI FI, in between Craft daily, which I like to watch for tips in Quilting which I am interested in at the moment. Made some cheese toasties, which I really like, I remembered someone told me that if I have the buttered side on the outside it goes really crispy, which I love! Washed some clothes which had been in the washing machine for about a week, I left in there again, and washed again about four times...I put out some bird feeders as we have a pair of robins in the garden, and various other birds, who like my garden,because it’s organic, I have been shaking the breadboard out so the get the crumbs too, the male robin follows us when we are in the garden, especially Cody, Joes Husky,because he scratches up the ground.
12.pm
joe got up at 12, it is his day off,has gone for a driving lesson, Bens just got up,(at 1.15), had his weetabix and then started to get me to get his coke out of the car,he has just theee cans a day.
I have to stop now as Ben has to be appeased! He will be going in the shower soon as it’s his disco night,some local parents wanted to set it up as they wanted their disabled kids to have the experience of a nightclub.I am watching the old classic Coronation Street which is on every afternoon, it’s 1991 on it.
I don’t really know what to say today, as usual things are up in the air as usual,things going on which I can’t talk about,something which would be great if it happens, but this has happened too many times in the past 9 months so say no more but watch this space! I missed the Branch Christmas meal on Monday, I felt ill, nauseous,but didn’t actaually vomit, but I felt I couldn’t take the chance of going and being sick! i have been off face book for nearly 6 weeks, for some strange reason it won’t download from out server, it’s ok if I don’t sign out, but if I do I can’t sign in again!so eventually signed in again from a marks and spencer free wi fi, so it means I am going to have to take my iPad, netbook and laptop out of the house to sign into Facebook on them, or wait til I go back to the caravan to do it, or try and find out why it’s not working
Monday, 3 December 2018
Twiglets
The battery on this iPad is going to go pretty soon,I have an infection today so it looks like I won’t be able to go to the branch meeting again today, which has made me feel really fed up.I went to the twiglets first birthday party on Thursday, Lidia wasn’t able to come, so went with Brian on our own.It was great and I really enjoyed it! My hip has been bothering me for a while now, it was baby Alice’s birthday party yesterday, so all my kids and almost all their kids were in the same place at the same time,obviously Ellie and Willow weren’t there.
Joe has started work now, and is at an interview now for a second Job, he has made a commitment to the Lord, and is going on with Him, every day.I had an amazing conversation with Colin,Joes Grandad, he said he prays for the girls, Ellie and Willow every day, I told him Joe trusts God to look after them, he says he did too...I came off the phone and had tears running down my face.
Joe has started work now, and is at an interview now for a second Job, he has made a commitment to the Lord, and is going on with Him, every day.I had an amazing conversation with Colin,Joes Grandad, he said he prays for the girls, Ellie and Willow every day, I told him Joe trusts God to look after them, he says he did too...I came off the phone and had tears running down my face.
Wednesday, 17 October 2018
Nipper and Gizmo, part 2
Well it’s the 17 th October, 5 weeks later, and she died this morning, totally unexpected,was expecting her to get better like last time,I don’t know if it was a virus, and she never shook it off....and Nipper her dad is still going, being as annoying as always. Don’t really know what else to say!
Sunday, 30 September 2018
Today
Today I got up and went to church,I was a bit late but nobody seems to mind,I can do stuff like that now because Joe has been staying here,so I can go out at a moment notice if I want too! It’s quite unusual for me...for the last two days I have been feeling in a better mood,so I actually smiled at the woman across the road, which surprised her...I go through phases like this, when I can’t speak to people and hate to go out of the house.
The woman preaching, (talking),was about hidden things in the Church, she had noticed that a woman was not coming to church,and bumped into her in town and saw she had a black eye, and was wearing a scarf to cover up other bruises...so the preacher said we must not be too legalistic about what the Bible says about divorce, because we don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives. This was the first time I have ever heard this spoken about in a Church EVER, a bit disappointing that it had to be a woman saying it, a woman I was talking to said she was given some tickets for a circus, by women’s Aid,and when I came home and told Joe he said she is not the sort of woman who would be abused and she was lying...so that made me think a lot.
Joe heard some disturbing news about his Ex,about her Dad,and it got him upset for a while,I got Cody a new Bed, cushion, which he started to tear up!..Suki ran off with Joes smelly sock,he likes to chew them up,Joe tried to get it off him and Suki growled at him, so Cody tried to go for Suki,Joe was in between them trying to keep them apart...so I got out the food bowls which distracts them...dogs are so easy to distract.
So that’s what I have done today.. I read a post where I said everything I had done that day, which is boring for me to do today, but I got a lot of insight into things that have changed, so I am going to do this ’Day in the life’ thing again.
The woman preaching, (talking),was about hidden things in the Church, she had noticed that a woman was not coming to church,and bumped into her in town and saw she had a black eye, and was wearing a scarf to cover up other bruises...so the preacher said we must not be too legalistic about what the Bible says about divorce, because we don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives. This was the first time I have ever heard this spoken about in a Church EVER, a bit disappointing that it had to be a woman saying it, a woman I was talking to said she was given some tickets for a circus, by women’s Aid,and when I came home and told Joe he said she is not the sort of woman who would be abused and she was lying...so that made me think a lot.
Joe heard some disturbing news about his Ex,about her Dad,and it got him upset for a while,I got Cody a new Bed, cushion, which he started to tear up!..Suki ran off with Joes smelly sock,he likes to chew them up,Joe tried to get it off him and Suki growled at him, so Cody tried to go for Suki,Joe was in between them trying to keep them apart...so I got out the food bowls which distracts them...dogs are so easy to distract.
So that’s what I have done today.. I read a post where I said everything I had done that day, which is boring for me to do today, but I got a lot of insight into things that have changed, so I am going to do this ’Day in the life’ thing again.
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