No Retreat NO Surrender?

Life is a battle,there is a praise song called “the battle belongs to the Lord”, which it does! But for us fighting it? It is so hard, it’s a struggle,at the moment it seems like it is never going to end,of course the Enemy wants us to believe we are on our own...but the Battle belongs to the Lord...
I will have to say that to myself, write it on the Mirror,hold it in my Heart, until I can believe it...it’s doubt of course,God wants us to not to Doubt Him...it’s Denying He is Almighty, it’s denying His love and care for Us, and that He controls the World, and our Lives...it’s saying that really the World is a Chaotic place,where Random things happen,in fact anything can happen to us, those we love can be hurt, die, get Sick...
In my Spirit I know that this is not true, that there is an Intelligence, a Maker, THE Creator, who didn’t plan this World to be like this,He planned for us to Live in a Beautiful Place, the Garden,where There was no knowledge of Good and Evil, but we had free Will, Did He make a Mistake by giving us Free Will? ...maybe He wanted us to Love Him freely? To know what we were choosing...WHO we were choosing
He knew of course what would happen, as He exists in all times and places...

But in my Head? In my heart,in my surface Mind,not deep inside ...I doubt...but that is because I AM weak...and I put my weakness onto God, when He is NOT weak!

Occupation? Urban terrorist/Supermodel

Yes I know terrorism isn’t anything to joke about.. I was watching a documentary about Patty Hearst, and I think that is where the term Urban terrorist comes from,and I remember,watching the film about the doors where his girlfriend,Jim Morrison’s calls herself An ‘ornament’when she was asked who she was!.. I guess all women feel like that sometimes sometimes I feel like a terrorist interfering in peoples lives and trying to guide them in the way they should go as the Bible says and other times I wish I did feel like a supermodel with the powers I have in the beauty they have but to be honest I’d rather have the life I have now there’s nothing better in the world and to know the Lord and talk with him every day. That is what defines me, if somebody asked me what my occupation as I could say yes I’m a full-time carer ,I’m a mother of five adults ,,and a Grandmother to five,yes I’ve got a lot in my life the Lord has truly truly blessed me with my family especially when I know someone personally who is close to me who struggles to have children and I can see the heartbreak that they are going through. My occupation is working for the Lord, my occupation is the secretary of the Staffordshire and  Shopshire Christian motorcyclist Association, I feel blessed that God has given me that role, but most of all my Occupation is to help bring people to know my wonderful Lord,who is full of love and care who is a true Father.

Salvation, Anxiety and Bi polar!

Well it’s been a rollercoaster of a week and I have been going from extreme lows to extreme highs, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Joe has come to the Lord, and said he is going to come to church with me, I would be worried about myself because I have a friend Mike who has bipolar and he goes from lows to highs within seconds. God is good all the time, I went to church last Sunday and afterwards I was talking to a lady called Ruth, and she was talking about her grandson coming to the Lord, I think I just remembered I did share this in my last post so I hope Joe can come on Sunday morning he does work from four 4 AM to 8 a.m. so he may not be up to going to church at 10:30 when I was there I also spoke to the Worship leaders and said that I can sing,only two of them do it regularly and they said they would phone me but I haven’t heard anything yet but I’m not worried because if its Gods will and I do this then it’ll happen,well I know that’s a simplistic way of thinking about it the enemy could be trying to sabotage something that God wants, I have a simple Faith..I’m just a mother who wants my children to be saved and I felt there was a slight nudge to speak to the Worship leaders!
 I don’t know if I can even sing well but I do enjoy singing and I do enjoy praising the Lord so maybe that’s enough ? It will certainly be a joyful noise! I have started to think that I have anxiety as in the mental disorder, Ben has been diagnosed with it and since he’s been having the medicine he’s been a lot better, also He has been talking to me which suppose is unusual for people who don’t have an autistic family member but then it is quite unusual, and I know in the past when I’ve taken steps to be closer to God and just done what he wants me to do,( Bible study and prayer Ben has taken a leap  forward,I said something to me other day about why did you put the tray away, and because he was concentrating on something else he just looked at me and said oh the tray no that sounds such a little thing,a totally normal reaction anybody would say, and it is and Ben has autism so he doesn’t have normal reactions ! (whatever normal is)! For him to come out with it without thinking without worrying about saying it is an amazing thing, we had a conversation the other day and he said to me “I’m smart “and I said “yes of course you’re smart,The autistic only stops you from talking to people it doesn’t mean you’re not clever or smart “and he seem to accept that so that’s the rollercoaster of a week! It has been hard been hard to keep up,! the Holy spirit starts working in our lives and it’s like we are on a rollercoaster and whole world is going past in a blur,I’m going from one minute of crying to the next minute feeling like I’ve got the best life in the world!...and I have got the best life in the world because Jesus is in it and He died to save me .God is Good , ALL THE  TIME.

Fat and Jolly...yeah me!

I just saw a very happy jolly large lady on t.v,Alison Hammond, and I was thinking how lovely and cheerful she is, and somehow it’s easier to be seen as acceptable’ by society to be Jolly , if we are fat! She was able to flirt and Charm Rob Lowe,I wish I could be like that, and I am sometimes! On Monday I had to have my yearly Asthma check up, and I smiled all the time,and the usually miserable Nurse smiled too..and didn’t look me up and down,the way she usually does! In the way some people do when they think we don’t see it.I did have a bad day on Tuesday..I let the Enemy in,I went to Church,on Sunday,without planning it like I usually do,therefore giving the Enemy the chance to stop me!
I felt the nudge to talk to the Worship leaders,about which I should have done months ago,and I was telling a lovely older
Lady, Ruth about how Joe has come to the Lord,and how I felt he needed to come to Church,she was talking about her Grandson who has always rejected his families Faith, he bought her a Bible because he noticed hers was falling apart, and has bought and shared many Christian books, so he is on the way too!,Praise the Lord!
I went home and Joe came round later and said, “Mum, I think Godis telling me I need to go to Church, and take the Kids!